Loss of joy for life after 30 normal?

27 comments

1. You had joy until your 30s? Good for you!

   Jokes aside, it sounds like you need a change. Holidays, volunteering, fostering… something challenging and out of your comfort zone.

   You just got cozy.

2. The issue is usually a lack of novelty in our lives: we settle into patterns with the same people, places, and hobbies. Try to break out of your default activities a bit and dive into new things

3. My drive died when my dad died last year September, 4 days before my birthday.

   Achieved everything I wanted in my mid to late 20s. Im 30 turning 31, and im just taking things day by day. Enjoying things from my childhood while applying for jobs (had to leave work due to the grieving i was facing).

   I realize i hardly lived life yet, so i will probably get out of this rut eventually. But its been hard.

   So no, what you are going through is very normal.

4. Yes it is normal. Wait till your 40s when everyone is going through some of the unhappiest times of their lives. Everyone walks around with the life sucked out of them.

5. > Do I suffer from low testosterone? Is it just being over 30 and normal? Do others feel the same? It is really strange, it is like my 20s-me was a complete differnet person.

   We don’t know. Could be lots of things. Could be things science doesn’t understand. But I don’t think it’s *merely* being older than 30, as there are men older than that who at least *report* having a gay old time in later years.

   An aside: I know “joy” is the buzzword of the year, but for what it’s worth I don’t remember having that (“ecstatic, exultant happiness”) as an adult. Maybe last time I had it was as a little kid. And I’m totally fine with this.

6. Gym

7. Anhedonia

   https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhedonia

8. I’m a 27 y/o woman feeling this way and I’ve summed it up to the fact that it just feels impossible to gain financial traction no matter how hard I work

   Wanted chips the other day but they were $6 so I skipped out on them

   I also want things like a decent-sized house, work benefits (PTO would be GREAT), kids, and maybe a nice vacation here & there but I’m forced to focus on HOPEFULLY retiring someday.

   To feel dead inside is likely normal in 2024. I don’t feel hopeful

9. I think it’s all a part of different phases of life. I feel like the 30s, at least for me, have felt a bit like a waiting period. Like, when you’ve planted seeds for a garden and you’re in the time of watering a seemingly empty garden bed and weeding it while you’re wait for the plants to grow. Over the last 15 years, I’ve worked to make investments in my wife, my kids, my career, my future, etc. There were times I felt like I was on the hamster wheel. But as I’m hitting the end of my 30s, I feel like those plants are starting to peek out of the ground. Things are starting to pay off and I’m getting to reap some of the benefits of that.

10. I began to struggle with this but refused to give in. Make your own joy.

11. Not normal. Are you a workaholic? Got a girl? Social life?

12. Hey this caught my eye and feels similar to me. It seems like almost the day I turned 30 there was a change (32 now). I feel like that “fire” in me has been greatly dampened. It’s harder to stay passionate to stay fit, which I had previously done all my life. It’s still possible to be fit, just takes more effort. Things I used to enjoy now often worsen my mood and leave me thinking “what’s the point”? I haven’t gotten a blood panel yet but I probably will in the next 6 months. One thing that SEEMS to have worked for me is trying to get intellectual stimulation. Either read something, create something, or learn a new skill. It seems my mood and zest for life has ticked back up during periods I’m able to do this. Then when I get lazy and stop doing it, my melancholy comes back.

13. Time to re-discover all of the passions you gave up to get where you are now. I went through similar after grinding out a place for myself in the world.

    I think it’s semi-normal to feel that way but unhealthy to let it fester.

    I like this formula for my personality:

    One hobby that gives me a tangible sense of accomplishment. For me, that’s rehabbing broken toys that I couldn’t afford otherwise.

    Another hobby that has no goalposts and can be a lifelong journey. For me, that’s playing music.

14. > Do I suffer from low testosterone?

    I’m not a doctor, but I’m gonna say 99% the answer is ‘no’.

    > it is like my 20s-me was a complete differnet person.

    It is like that, because it is like that.

    Ok, wise-ass answer aside: You’ve got a good paying job, it sounds like. What is your life like outside of that job? What are your two favorite hobbies that you do on a regularly recurring basis, with other people, in public spaces, in the real world?

15. Your 20s were a few months back my man.

    “Looking back” to you means a couple of years.

    You have a long, long way to go.

    This has nothing to do with the number 3 appearing in your age.

    I suggest you seek psychological help, as you clearly need it.

16. I feel the exact same way. My emotions also aren’t as extreme. I’m not as excited or interested in things. Sometimes I remember how I used to be funny and go out and do things. I hate it, I wanna feel stoked for things but it’s not there anymore.

17. I’m feeling the opposite. My 20’s were a major struggle and I love my late 30’s. Re: TRT, never hurts to have hormones checked.

18. Not having a dream, or repeated failure will do that to you. I’m 37 and I struggle with this, but I have always bounced back with time. Luckily I have a wife and daughter that love me , many people don’t have that kind of rock and it must be very tough.

19. Time for your fishing phase.

20. Watch south park’s “You’re getting old” episode (Season 15 episode 7). It aired in 2011 when I was in my early 20s and it was just another silly, funny South Park episode to me. Caught it on a re-run in my 30s and it hit me on a different level.

21. 30yr old men have different needs then 20yr old men. But all around we need growth and challenge/achievement in life.

22. So bleak. You bought into the 9-7 grind mentality. Go outside and touch some grass. Do something new and exciting. Stop sitting around your place on the weekend.

    Go to a different town for a coffee, pick a spot you’ve never gone before to explore, pick up the phone and ask a friend out for an adventure.

    Your life is boring. Change it.

23. Maybe find positive people to be around

24. Yes…..same. I think burnout for me
    I thought the education, stable finances would be the magic bullet of maybe contentment but I’m only tired of the grind and monotony unfortunately.
    I’m hoping it will pass

25. You need to do something that makes you appreciate what you have. Volunteer. Go build some houses. Go see people that would dream to have your life. Be grateful for everything- EVERYTHING. I don’t just mean things and accomplishments. Just say thank you if you you can see, talk, walk, that you woke up, that you have discipline. When you realize you have more things that you can list to be grateful for than most it helps you feel less listless. You can see how truly blessed you are and you feel kinda bad for not appreciating what you often take for granted because it’s so normal for you. But a lot of people don’t have those simple basic things

26. I stopped giving a fuck about what I eat. Not like unhealthy food. But more just get into my mouth because I need sustenance. Ive been working in kitchens for years and I cook well and fancy for guests or family but for me… Rice veggies and chicken in my rice cooker with a big spoon and idgaf.

    I used to love cooking. I did it for funsises. I’m too tired and old for that shit now.

27. I read CS Lewis and Viktor Frankyl write about the ‘Anglo’ world’s obsession with and obtainment of happiness. They seemed it imply it was a fallacy and not all people of the world have this belief

    I would still like it tho