Hi everyone, first post! Throwaway account, but I’m in a bit of a sucky situation right now. I (21F) have been crushing on my guy friend (22M) for a while now. He admitted to me that he feels the same way, and initiated a kiss with me a while ago. One thing led to another, and at this point the only thing we haven’t done together is actual sex (i.e. intercourse). We have the best time together, even when it doesn’t involve anything sexual. We laugh together, we run errands together, we work out together, we’ve been on a date and we have also just hung out at each other’s apartments too. When we kiss, it feels like fireworks, and the way he looks at me makes me feel something so intense I can’t even describe it (corny, I know). Now though, the no sex is starting to bother me. I’m not a virgin, but he is (I have no problem with taking his virginity if he wants me to). I love sex, but he is deeply religious and wants to wait for marriage because of this. From what I can tell by what we have actually done, we are extremely sexually compatible, and both of us are always satisfied (if you catch my drift), but I can’t help but want more. Sex is very important to me because I’ve always been a very sexual person, and I know it would mean a lot with someone this special to me. I don’t know what to do. We haven’t labeled ourselves yet, so I feel like I can’t assume marriage would be on the horizon since we aren’t even official. I want to share this part of me with him, but I feel like I’d be a bad person to bring it up again. He said that when I did, it didn’t make him feel pressured or uncomfortable, and he even said that he wants to have sex. But he also clearly feels like this would be a sin. I can see how this is bothering him, as he probably feels stuck between what he wants and what he has always assumed is the right thing, which must be really hard. He knows I am not a virgin and has said this doesn’t bother him, but I can’t help but wonder if I’d even be the type of girl he would marry. He treats me so well, better than most guys I’ve encountered, we have a solid friendship already, but I just can’t help but want that too now that we’ve started other sexual activities. I know that usually on posts like this, people quickly say that they would leave the situation due to the possibility of sexual incompatibility. While I agree normally, and I recognize that this could still happen, I feel like what we’ve already done and how good it has been has shown me that we ARE already compatible. I like him so much and this is breaking my heart, both for myself, as it’s frustrating me and making me feel sort of rejected, and for him, because I would imagine the feeling he may be going through is torture. I want to be with him seriously, and he has said he wants the same, we just haven’t taken that step yet. I want him so much, but I can’t help feeling like I might suffer due to the lack of sex if it were to continue while actually dating, even if he wasn’t outright “rejecting” me. Please help me with advice if anyone has any, it would be so appreciated!


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