Hey! I recently asked a girl out from one of my classes. She accepted and we agreed on a date 2 weeks away, which is now tomorrow (Friday), since we both have exams and lots of school stuff coming up. I was really scared she would cancel on me the whole way through (She didn’t seem super enthusiastic about it, but it was hard to tell over text). This Monday I hit her up asking if we were still on and lo and behold, my fears were right since she ghosted me… until today (Thursday). She wrote a message apologizing for ghosting me and telling me that Friday wasn’t gonna work out (obviously). She said she has a lot of stuff coming up and she would be available next around mid-June. I have no idea what to reply to her. I’d still love to go on a date with her, but if she ghosted me for so long it has to be a sign that she’s not really interested, right? What am I supposed to tell her in this situation? It doesn’t hurt to tell her that we’ll talk about it in June and ask again then, right?
5 comments
Respond with something along the lines of “I hope everything goes well! I would still be interested in seeing you if you wanted to pick a time and place”. Basically let her know ball is in her court on whether the date happens.
Edit: personally though, I would not keep my hopes up, nor wait around for this person. To not respond to a text for over three days, in anticipation of a date, is not a great flag
Even if she’s being honest, there’s two things to consider; first, she agreed to the date two weeks ago so obviously it “worked” then. I get that life happens, and things can change. But the way she handled it shows a clear lack of interest. You reached out to confirm three days ago. She got the message. She chose to ignore it. She responded today saying it won’t work. Was that the case on Monday? Probably. So why not respond? Realistically she’s just going out with her friends. It happens.
Second, mid-June? So another two weeks where nothing’s actually confirmed. She didn’t actually set a date (which would be on her in this situation); she just threw out a random time frame. In short, stop wasting your time.
Carry on living your life, which you should have been doing anyway. If she wants to actually see you, she’ll make that happen. Assume it won’t. I should also add that I advise against setting dates longer than a week out. I get that sometimes people just legitimately have plans, but the original “spark” often fizzles out after that long.
I’m not saying you should auto discount those situations. But if possible, try to set dates within a week. Good luck.
When girls (or boys) say no to an invitation to hang out or cancel and do not suggest a concrete alternative day and time in the near future (next day or day after), then they are not interested.
From what you detailed I would say the probability of her being romantically/sexually interested is at 0,001 %. The reason for that is that ppl, men and women, by and large operate pretty much like you do when they are interested. They want to see the other person. Rather now than later.
When ppl want something or someone then generally speaking they will find ways to try and get it or to be with him/her. That person will become a priority. Real attraction is quite powerful. If a girl or dude is really attracted they cant stop thinking about the chick or boy. They won’t just dismiss meeting someone they attracted to. Ppl find ways to make it happen.
Whenever girls give you reasons why they cant meet you…they are not interested in you. Quicker you learn that lesson the better for you. Trust me, it aint about her being too busy or about mid of June. Girls that are on react very differently.
Never invite girls more than once. If you do, you immediately assume the petitioner role. You never wanne act and think like a petitioner. If anything should happen in the future it is now her turn to make a move. You offering again….never do that. Thats weak. Thats chasing girls and chasing is desperate.
Prepare to have your time wasted.
Go on the date don’t let it phase you and line up a date with a different girl!