What advice would you give to anybody anxious to reach their 30’s?

10 comments

1. My 30s WERE a grind. Without doubt, the toughest decade I’ve had. Fledging career where I was the lowest rung on the ladder, fired, etc.

   First decade of marriage with young kids, lack of sleep, lack of sex, lack of time and lack of money.

   It was brutal.

   It ended though! From my late 30s it has been awesome. Better marriage, better career, more money and the kids are great fun!

   I guess my point is that life goes in cycles and while some years are harder than others, the good times are there too.

2. same shit, different day

3. My 30s has been the best time of my life so far. Enjoy it!

4. 20s, meh. 30s, better but loaded with change. 40s intensely awesome. 50s, the pieces of 20s 30s and 40s fall into place.

5. It’s an imaginary goalpost. There is little difference between going from 28 to 29 and going from 29 to 30. But we’ve been conditioned this way.

   As children, our development is judged based on our age and the grade we are in at school. So we are “tall for a 6 year old”, “smart for a 10 year old”, “mature for a 15 year old”. It makes sense we simply continue this as adults and believe we must achieve X by age Y. Nobody really tells us that this stops in our late teens. And that it wasn’t all that valuable to begin with.

   I noticed this with students too. Once I had a conversation with some who were about to graduate and considered an extra year of specialisation. One of the major fears was that they would “lose a year” and that this would mean they couldn’t achieve everything as young as possible.

   When I asked a few questions about that, they had a very strange view of jobs and working. They seemed to believe that they would join a company and immediately be their most brilliant, most valuable asset. They then had a few years to prove how amazing they were and shoot up as high as possible. Then, they would stagnate and continue like that for the rest of their career.

   They argued that they were fresh from school and thus had the most recent knowledge. Obviously, this made them better than people who had graduated 10 years ago. Added to that the ability to work hard and cognitive which they strongly correlated with age.

   And if you think about it, that is constantly reinforced by pop culture. Brilliant young kid comes and revolutionises a company, while those slightly older are shown as mere obstacles to be surpassed. Constantly the idea that young = brilliant is emphasised. Few people realise it is a power fantasy.

   The truth is quite opposite to that idea. Theoretical knowledge becomes stronger when combined with practical knowledge. New ideas should be considered, but aren’t necessarily better. And young people don’t enter the workforce at the peak of their potential.

   It’s a very common fear, but it is based on assumptions that don’t hold up.

6. It’s a number. If you were doing good in 20, you’ll keep doing good in your 30s. There are no universal rules. If you are unhappy in your 20’s, you’ll be unhappy in your 30s unless you start to change

7. There is no “switch” that flips when you reach a certain age. You control your destiny. You are responsible for your happiness. Humans are supposed to experience a range of emotions, it’s healthy. Tell him not to focus on an arbitrary number, focus on personal contentment. Do what makes him happy. Experience life.

8. Get saving and investing every month.

9. Slow down and enjoy the journey of getting there. You will be 50 before you know it. Every year/ month/day has the potential to be a great one. But rushing does not get you any extra years on the end. 30 is not a magic #.

10. **It is just another day.**

    He will be fine if keeps working towards the goals he wants and he keeps learning from life.