Hi guys, for context… 8month relationship. We are long distance but see each other pretty much every other week and talk on the phone everyday for as long as we can around work and school schedules. We also ALWAYS have our next trip to see each other planned out as something to look forward to, one big change as of right now is that we don't know when our next will be, which has never happened before.
Lately we have both been busy with school being back in session (and i work 3 jobs) and we have both been having hiccups where we unintentionally hurt each others feelings and it's been harder for me to bounce back and forgive even though i am really trying to (we have never had a fight, just discussions about feelings and they get resolved relatively quickly after giving each other time to feel their feelings). i've also found myself getting annoyed easily by her, i've been taking longer to respond to messages and being indifferent when we're not in contact. just a couple days ago, i would have been checking my phone waiting for a text or missing her when we haven't spoken for just an hour or so, responding within seconds and finding her "annoying" behaviors cute.
I have never before doubted my love for her but i have questioned how to know that it IS love, l'm only 20. I have only been in 3 other serious relationships (all have which ive been cheated on/and or abused). How do i even know what love is supposed to feel like?? i find myself wondering if i am actually in love or if this is just the first time l've been in a REALLY good, healthy, stable, relationship.
I have had mental health issues, severeee overthinking and difficulties with detaching/s V sabotage as a way to protect myself. But not yet have i had issues with it in this relationship because she makes me feel so secure… i am really hoping that my mental state or hormones or something is the explanation and not that l've just been lying to myself and her thinking i'm in love if I'm not.
Is it normal to feel this way? any personal experience like this? have i just become a bad gf in the last 48hrs? it would absolutely destroy me to lose her, how can i fix this?