I (24f) just caught my boyfriend (36m) talking to his ex
So as the title says. Let’s start with the fact that I’m very much in the wrong here. I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months now and although I am very insecure, I’m pretty sure I have a very loyal man.
Today however he told me that he got invited by his old coworkers to have dinner. This is a usual thing that happens once every six months organized by their favorite customer. This customer invites the coworkers to eat at his restaurant and pays for it, because rich people idk??
Normally my boyfriend and I call or text all the time and now when he went out for dinner he didn’t. I called him after hours and noticed he was at a different restaurant. He said yes they told me we’ll go to another place.
At this restaurant works a girl friend of his, who I am not sure I trust. I already was jealous of her, so this is not making it better.
After his dinner he came to my house and right now he is fast asleep next to me. And for the first time, I sneaked in his phone.
Yes very wrong, I’m aware.
But here’s what I found: the girl friend at that restaurant? He replies to her stories on instagram with hearts or heart eye emoji’s and they only talk on snapchat. When I’m next to him he never opens what she sends him. He told me it’s because if he opens her snap, she replies straight away and he doesn’t like that? Not sure what to think of that.
Now I’m not scared about him and his dumb emoji’s. It’s the fact that if I would send heart eyes to my guy friends he would freak the fuck out and give me a whole rant about how girls and guys cannot be friends.
But yess the title. Let’s get to the point. He dated this girl for 3 years and she broke up with him. This was around 2020. So some time ago and he told me he’s well past it. He is still in contact with her family once in a while and I don’t mind that at all.
He told me he recently bumped into his ex while he was working and they just spoke a little and that’s it. I didn’t feel any jealousy or concern then either.
But now sneaking in his phone I see they spoke not even two weeks ago. And he invited her to come have a drink with his friend at an outdoor cafe. I also see an outgoing facetime call to her, but she did not pick up the phone.
He did not tell me anything about this. She couldn’t come though so they didn’t meet. But they have spoken to each other more times than he has told me from what I can see. It looks friendly, but why is he hiding that?
Also I cannot find any prove of his coworkers inviting him. No calls, text, emails, nothing at all. I see one snap was made of the food and it looks like only a maximum of three people at that table but it’s hard to tell. He’s making it sound like there had to be way more than 3 people.
I used to have contact with my exes and cut it all off for my boyfriend because he said exes can’t be friends. While I was actual friends with two exes of mine for years. I broke off that contact FOR HIM. And now he’s inviting his ex for drinks without telling me?
I can’t tell him I sneaked in his phone. Do I leave it like this and just wonder wtf he’s doing? Do I now have to check his phone more often? Do I investigate him with questions?
Any advice would be welcome and appreciated so much❤️
TL;DR boyfriend has been talking to his ex without telling me and things on his phone are off. I sneaked into his phone. How do I proceed knowing this information?