Hello DoT, I have my first date in three years coming up in two days, and I’m feeling really nervous.
After a lengthy, abusive relationship and a lot of therapy, I’ve realised how alcohol made me vulnerable in the past. I’m now fully sober and don’t want to rely on alcohol to ease my nerves. While I was never much of a drinker outside of social situations, I’m starting to see that alcohol was a crutch for me during early dating.
I’m naturally shy, and in the past, I used alcohol to help me loosen up on dates. I tend to be bubbly even when I’m anxious, but I’m worried about saying or doing something I’ll regret. My date and I have been chatting for a few weeks through calls and messages, which is my preferred approach given my history, so I feel comfortable meeting them for coffee. They’re unaware of my past abusive relationship, and it’s not something I’m ready to share yet—if ever.
Does anyone have advice on managing the anxiety of a first date after going through abuse, staying sober, and being naturally shy? Any tips to help me stay calm and present would be much appreciated. Thanks!