To start off I met this man on tinder. We had been snap chatting for about a week, and then he asked me out. I said yes, and decided to invite him over for a hookup the weekend before the time of the date. He was really respectful. He was cuddling before we got down and dirty, and was concerned that I was playing him. He said he really liked me, and that morning he invited me over to his place. I was hesitant but when, and our relationship started. It was a quick burn. He still took me out on our scheduled date and asked me to be his girlfriend. I said I was scared about how fast we were going. I told him we needed to wait because I’m scared to get hurt, and I wanted my friends to meet him first because they have been by my side the worst moments of my life. They are like my family.
He agreed and we continued to grow closer telling each other about our lives, about our trauma. Through this I learned he had trust issues because his last girlfriend cheated on him after two years and long distance.
I had my doubts, but he reassured me and later in the week told me he was falling in love with me. I thought everything was going great, and if I’m honest with myself I was falling in love with him too.
The last time I went over, something was off. I walked into his apartment and immediately knew something was off. When then went into his room, I hugged him and noticed his heart was beating very fast. I asked he what was wrong and then he sat down and held his hands out. I thought to myself oh shit.
He then told me he didn’t want to sound like a dickhead, but he had doubts and then festered for a couples days. He said he realized he didn’t want or need a relationship. He said he wasn’t where he wants to be in life. He wasn’t in a good place and didn’t know what was wrong with him and why he was like this He ended our brief relationship and said he still wanted to be friends. I was distraught obviously because I was falling for this boy and asked him if he still had romantic feelings for me, and he said yes. He then said that’s why he needs to take a couple days to decide how our friendship would look. He asked me how I wanted it to look, but I told him it’s his decision because the way I want him he doesn’t want.
My question is has this ever happened to anyone? Because of his trust issues, is he pushing me away? Did he lose feelings? Was he playing me? I am so confused because this came out of nowhere. I still really like him and I still want him in my life because he became my best friend. We are talking next week after we sit with this, but I don’t know what to feel or say. He broke my heart in a way a broke my trust because my last relationship wasn’t good either. It was long distance too, and I was cheated on too. So I truly don’t understand.