I’ve been friends with Sally (both of us are 25, F) since childhood, but her negativity is becoming increasingly hard to handle. She’s had trauma and tends to be very pessimistic, often complaining about others. She’s lost her family members before, been cheated on, has a small circle of friends, and is always hopping from job to job. I’ve been distancing myself a bit as I focus on positive friendships which seems to have upset her. I also have a job I love and a very good relationship with my boyfriend. We also recently got a house for significantly under market value.
Recently, Sally has shown some concerning behavior. I tried to make plans to visit her favorite coffee shop, but she reacted rudely because I asked her to drive us there since parking is a tough and I’m a bad driver lol. Later, when we briefly discussed maybe going to the beach, I had to work but still went after, and invited her to join me. She accused me of blowing off our plans, ignored my invitation, and then posted pictures at the beach with a different friend. This felt petty, especially since she knew I was interested in hanging out and was trying to make our plan work even though I had to work.
Sally has also started spending time with Taylor, a person I don’t respect due to past issues where Taylor flirted with my boyfriend. Taylor and Sally hung out for the first time recently, and Taylor posted on instagram about their time at the very coffee shop I tried to go to Sally with. It feels very vindictive given my history with Taylor and that I just tried to make plans with Sally to go her favorite coffee spot.
Additionally, Sally has shown jealousy towards my new friend Karen, making sarcastic remarks about my new friendship and disliking that I spend a lot of time with her now (we work together). She also reacts negatively to my personal successes, like commenting on my low mortgage payment with sarcasm, and then complaining with how much rent she pays.
It seems like Sally’s behavior stems from jealousy and possessiveness. How should I handle this situation without directly confronting her? Is she being vindictive and calculated or am I overthinking it? Should I cut her off?
TLDR: my friend who is quite negative, clingy and possessive has been jealous of me spending time with my boyfriend and friends. Now she started hanging out with one of my enemies. How do I handle that.