Throwaway for reasons.
My boyfriend and I have been together 5 years. My dad died about a month and a half ago of cancer, and we were incredibly close. We talked everyday. He was my best friend and I took care of him on hospice till he passed. Organized the service. And I’m still shattered he’s gone.
He started an argument with me today saying that I’m neglecting the relationship. We also have 2 kids, one of whom is 3 months old. He says that I’m dismissing his feelings because I’m telling him that I’m not myself since my dad died and on top of that I’m post partum. He said “so that excuses your behavior?” And I’m just in shock. I’m still in the thick of my grief, I cry everyday. I haven’t even seen friends.
He keeps saying I am justifying my actions of “neglect”- however I have no idea how I’m neglecting him. He won’t tell me. I’ve tried asking how he feels neglected and he says he shouldn’t have to explain it for me to apologize. He says I’m spinning the problem around on him because I told him he’s not being supportive or understanding that this is literally the worst time in my life thus far. His exact words were “you say you love me but you do a shitty job of showing it.”
I’m still on maternity leave and I clean the house everyday, make dinners, take care of the kids, and when he comes home from work I always make sure to ask how his day was, we watch tv together, I’ll scratch his head whenever he wants me to…so I’m at a loss. I’m seriously thinking of ending this relationship over it because I feel he’s being so selfish. How would you feel about this whole situation? Should I be more understanding where he is coming from?
Tl;dr- my partner of 5 years says I’m neglecting the relationship since my dad died a month and a half ago without telling me how, and I’m not sure if I’m over reacting.