I feel STUCK. I have no idea what to do. Met with my therapist yesterday for further clarity and she told me to leave or I will continue to be unhappy. I am also religious and practice Christianity so please assist me on that aspect also if necessary. I definitely want to do things the right way!
Anyway, we have been married for 5 years and have 2 sons under 2. He is an extreme mamas boy and can’t do anything without her decision or simple pass over for advice/confirmation. Which I moved over from because I don’t have the best relationship with my mother I want him to have that with his. I don’t care for my mom or his mom because his mother is very fake and likes to pry. I can dig into that another time.
He’s not handy and doesn’t like to get his hands dirty around the house and it’s honestly a turn off. I feel bad for that but I love when men can fix things. Not sure if that’s because I grew up seeing my father do that.
He doesn’t have the best hygiene. Doesn’t floss or brush his tongue. After he brushes his teeth in the morning his breath smells like mint and breath. His hair smells, he washes it once a month or every other month sometimes I wish he would cut the locs off for this reason. He drinks beer multiple times throughout the day, eats chips, and drinks maybe one water bottle of every three days so his pre cum and cum tastes HORRIBLE. YUCK. His body smells goes because he takes showers and keeps his body hair cut but I also wish he would wear some cologne sometimes for that extra spark. I loveeee scents and he has so much cologne. He dresses nice too! I also hate his skincare routine. He has very oily and textured skin with so many blemishes and minor acne. My skin isn’t at its best either but my new birth control has caused the hormonal acne. I believe his diet and drinking contribute to how his skin looks. I’m honestly not attracted to him anymore. I wish I can have a good make out session during sex or randomly but I fear the breath and the oral hygiene makes me gag. We peck throughout the day and show love but I can’t even take it too far.
He works hard AT WORK. Does bare minimum for the kids, brought them to maybe 2 doctor appointments. I have to remind him to do everything. I believe he has adhd which I do extend him grace for that. No one is perfect at all but I do believe you can atleast TRY or show effort.
We never go on dates, he doesn’t plan anything, plays video games, he talks too much always on the phone with his mom, friends, coworkers, etc. I can’t read in peace or sleep because of the consistent TALKING. I talk a lot also but I definitely have a daily limit lol.
Whenever we go out, he’s always on his phone or walking around me or away from me. Only super affectionate at home or around his mom. Around my family he’s very distant and awkward as well as in public. Recent turnoff was his constant wide mouth yawning in church. I understand you’re tired but 1) I was tired of the smell and 2) that was so rude to keep doing that. Cover your darn mouth.
Anyway, I know we all have our issues and flaws. I’m honestly burned out and overwhelmed from working from home, homeschooling, planning everything, cooking, maintaining the home, paying bills, paying off my debt, etc. I do believe our marriage helps me financially so I can pay off debt and take care of things and I do fear how well off I would be if we split. I also know the grass isn’t green on the other side. I don’t have expectations to find someone else after this. I can see life being hard dating with 2 kids, I make 6figures and the economy is eating me UP (yes I live wayyy below my means and I only get my hair and a pedicure quarterly, I do press on nails) I think once I pay off my debt I can survive.
Yes we go to counseling. I’m so tired I need help. Please help me. I’m 30 and he’s 35 for reference if needed.