i’m worried my(22F) fiancé(25M) thinks i don’t like him touching me?

i’m scared my(22F) fiancée(25M) is getting sick of my ocd tendencies?

i’ve never really posted on here before but i’ve just been really struggling with something. for as long as i can remember, since around 14, i’ve had what i assume is ocd. i haven’t ever been tested for it since the household i grew up didn’t really believe in that sort of stuff, but im almost positive i have it.

for example my lips and the sides of my fingers are always raw and chapped and they can never be left alone. and theres red little marks all over my face, not due to acne but because of me picking it. and at night i have really bad insomnia, its almost impossible for me to sleep and it can get quite frustrating. also when im trying to work or study my brain will just not absorb the information and it’ll think of literally everything else than the topic im studying and sometimes it really makes me wonder if im stupid. im going of topic here but there are so many other stuff i have that i can’t list them all, and frankly if i do i fear people will think im insane.

anyways back to the topic, one of the main things i struggle with is my left and right side. the right side is my favorite obviously, so whenever something touches my left arm for example i have to touch it in the same spot with the same, or more, pressure on my right arm. and this applies to every single inch of my body. it’s the worst thing ever and gets annoying so fast, and it’s part of a reason why i hate physical touch.

i’ve been with my fiancé for about 3 ish years, and we’ve recently moved in together. he’s been really understanding about this whole issue and he’s patient with me about it. but my main problem is when we’re in bed. my brain hates me so the left right thing is almost like intensified during it and it doesn’t let me just be in the moment and enjoy it. my fiancé notices and he always tells me how we can stop if i want to and i don’t have to do this and ect, but i just feel like i’m getting annoying and frustrating for him to deal with at this point. i really need some help on how to tamp it down?? or just to not make a big deal about it yknow.

whenever his hand does like grab my left hip or literally just any part of my left body i always have to move it to the other side for him, but sometimes it doesn’t cancel it out and it’s not the same, and then that’s all i think about the rest of the time until i can even it out. i get really annoyed and frustrated when this does happen too cause it feels like something out of my control and i want to solve it immediately yknow, but then that ruins the whole tempo.

i’m scared he’s getting sick of it and i need to know how to make it less or atleast regulate my emotions during it. i’m naturally not a very affectionate person and i feel like this just makes it ten times worse.