If you ever broke up with someone and regretted it, how did you manage to fix it?

2 comments

1. very personal story ive been on the fence with sharing here. Especially because I know many will not understand and tell me im a horrible person.

   My husband and I were separated at one point. We got in a bad argument and he put his hands on me. Then we moved past it and a week later he did it again, and it was far far far worse. Thats when I left with the kids. My parents were divorced growing up and I absolutely hated it. I felt guilty for leaving and I told 2 people, my mother, and my sister. My mother of course told everyone what happened and the family agreed they would disown me if I did not divorce him, all except my sister, who said its a very complicated situation and she will support any choice I make.

   It was bad at first, but its been years and we have made a lot of progress. We were probably the youngest people in the marriage counselors office by at least a few decades, but it helped a lot. We also started to out each other first. Priorities go; Spouse, kids, everything else.

   What fixed it was marriage counseling, and just making time together a priority. Our kids love to wake us up so we have a rule in the house if mommy and daddy are snuggling, unless it’s an emergency, they’ll have to wait. We try to go on dates a few times a month. Thats what’s overall stopped our arguing in the first place.

2. In the immediate days/weeks/months after I had regrets. Regrets in how I handled the breakup, regrets in not working more on it. I honestly had to just trust that my past self had a better grasp on the reasons for breaking up with him had that my present (years ago now) regrets were emotions I was processing and not necessarily valid reasons to reconcile or regret the final outcome. (As time moved forward the regret got much much quieter and I was able to clearly see how right I had been in ending the relationship.)