I 16nb am in a relationship with my boyfriend 17m and we’ve been together for 10 months and i love him so much but the big issue with our relationship is i tend to be attracted to most everyone i meet.
my boyfriend is attracted to other people but he doesn’t want to do anything with them. but i on the other hand do want to do things with other people and i think about those people often.
These aren’t random people on the internet these are people i see in my day to day life. i have been diagnosed with BPD and i have trauma that affects my attachment to people so i feel like those could be a factor
i feel horribly guilty for feeling this way and i don’t want to feel this way i don’t know what it is or why i feel like this but i want to stop it and i want to know how to improve my relationship
5 comments
Some people can never have enough, this is a problem in my family aswell. It’s like always on the hunt for more. It’ll pass
Feelings are feelings. You don’t have to feel guilty about them. The only things that you’re responsible for are your actions. As long as you’re not actually doing anything with them, you haven’t done anything wrong. Please do continue therapy for your BPD and trauma though. You need to take that stuff seriously.
Part of it is definitely being 16 unfortunately 🙁 Or at least I was at my worst with this when I was 16. But I also suggest you work on being a good friend to people as well as a good romantic partner to your boyfriend. Both kinds of relationships need work and investment and if you’re very mindful about it you can do both things well.
You said you’re 16, diagnosed with BPD, and have attachment issues. I think that answers the why.
As you get older and continue to go to therapy you will hopefully be able to recognize Philia love vs Eros love.
Irregardless you shouldn’t feel guilty, as long as you’re not acting upon it then it should be okay.
You’re looking for advice about not being ready for a relationship. That’s all it is. Break up and have your fun