My boyfriend (22) and me (f31) have been dating for a year. We have a great sex life, we talk to each other everyday, we have a lot in common and despite our age difference our brains are on the same wavelength. He's in the military so hes more mature than most men his age. But also im a little more childish than my age, we kind of meet in the middle. (I know some of you are gonna come at me about the age difference. We are both adults. And my grandparents have the same age difference, they have been married 25 years).
Anyway we haven't discussed big things like marriage or anything like that. He's aware I don't want kids and he's fine with that. He said loves me and he's not going to force me to have kids.
But I was thinking about moving up to where he lives, not move in together just up to the city he lives in because he's nearly 1 1/2 hours away. Probably not for at least another 6 months (gotta save up money) And if he and I are still doing good I want to ask him how serious he considers our relationship. Because if im moving that far I want to make sure the relationship is serious before I make a big life decision like that.
I know that doesn't full proof that our relationship will last forever, any couple can break up. But I do want to make sure he's as serious about the relationship as I am before making such a huge decision. Basically I don't know how to phrase it to him.
2 comments
Just ask him, as you wrote it. Sit him down and say, “Look, Im thinking about wanting to move close to you, like same city because I love you and us and I want to be closer to you. But I have to know if thats something you’d like, if you see our relationship as serious as I do.” You know? It tells him that you respect him and value him, asking him for his input on such a big change for you, for the both of you really.
Thats what I would want a woman to do for me, if this situation was mine.
Just ask if he sees you guys lasting long term. When he’s done answering, if it’s a yes, ask if he’d like it if you lived closer. If that’s a yes, look into moving.
Have that discussion sooner rather than later, so it’s on both of your minds in the meantime. You might find that once it’s agreed upon, one or both of you might get cold feet etc