I’m very popular with the unpopular people, you know the nice and quiet ones that can sometimes not very interesting to talk too (sorry if this sounds harsh but it’s important to get that picture) because I’m not quiet and been told, funny and clever and they seem to like it while also I’m a huge people pleaser so I’d go over and beyond to make sure everyone feels great. I can feel them being so nice to me all the time by inviting me to stuff and asking news and always liking all my stories.
The issue is, I’m between popular and unpopular. I have a ton of popular friends, just no close friends that are. All my close friends are the unpopular ones. I’ve tried for so long to fit in with the popular people but today I realized that the popular people treat me just like I treat the unpopular people that are always nice to me. Not in a mean way or anything but never starting or engaging the conversation and always being so so comfortable in taking days to answers (I’m not doing that particular thing tho, that’s so rude to me). I can also feel that they’re way too confident with me while with other popular people; they’re much less. It’s like they don’t consider me. Like they know I want to be with them and it’s hard to explain but I can feel they know it and take me for granted, no making a single effort and never inviting me to stuff, even though I invite them to all of mine. I host a lot of parties.
Maybe I’m just a shit person and I know, at least, that my attitude towards the less popular people is shitty as I realized today very clearly that I’m being treated the same by the more popular and it’s not a nice feeling at all. sounds like I’m a teenager I know but always struggled socially and I feel I’m just starting now to understand things). I just cannot accept the fact that the popular ones are rejecting me and that I can only be with the unpopular ones.
PS: I should also add that I am a red head, short and overweight so although people seem to like my fiery personality, I’m not imposing physically and maybe it plays a big role in how popular people who are often good looking, see me.