he was my first seriously long-term relationship. he was my first for a lot of things (including more intimate things) but he came clean about cheating on me very recently.
to summarize, we had been together for two years and were mainly long distance due to school. we usually have a rough patch the first month of school due to adapting from seeing each other often to only being able to call. however, this rough patch was the worst so far which led to us growing distant and arguing quite often. we were trying to work through it until he came clean and told me that he had downloaded tinder a few days ago and was texting other girls (albeit failed attempts but still cheating).
i just feel super lost because i know i definitely wasn’t the best girlfriend out there, but i also know that he could’ve just broken up with me instead of cheat. but how do i get past that self doubt and guilt? i just feel like maybe there could’ve been something i could’ve done? moreover i’m mourning the person he used to be because the guy i fell in love with would’ve never done this to me. but i guess that guy didn’t exist in the first place.
any advice on how to move forward would help. and please be gentle, this is my first major heartbreak and i really don’t know what i’m doing. he was a major part of my daily routine so now there’s this void that i have in my heart now that i’ve blocked him and deleted everything involved with him. i just really wanted him to be my endgame yk? even though that’s so out of reach now.
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