My parents in law have always been controlling, they are ex police officers and they give off the impression that they believe themselves to be more deserving and better than other people.
It started off with minor violations but now has become a major issue. They feel entitled to govern my relationship with my wife, dictate the 'terms and agreements' of social contracts (e.g. 'you turn up with my daughter for food every weekend and be how we want you to be or otherwise we will punish you and inflict pain upon you in a myriad of ways however we get to be/do whatever we want').
They are bossy, competitive, intrusive, combative and aggressive. Worst of all my partner prioritises her relationship with them over putting our relationship first. That's the major kicker because that's what undermines our relationship and gives power to her parents. She won't stand up to her parents because she's afraid and feels guilty as they have given her so much and done so much for her.
I don't know where to go from here. The next step in our relationship is children however I'm not sure I want to at this stage. I can only think of it as being hell given her parents and how my partner will pander to them and diminish our connection together.
Has anyone been through similar experiences? What can I do to change this if anything? Her parents are so adversarial that any discussion will be met with them seeking 'winning' as the only outcome.
Thank you.