Me(22M) and my girlfriend (21F) have been together for 3 years
So i feel like me and her have just grown apart we started dating at 19 and we are 22 now and today is our anniversary all year has just been so many fights and drama and I am starting to just feel like our lives would both be easier if we were single. I have cheated on her in the past and hate that i was a coward to do that and i donr want to cheat again but i am starting to think of what it would be like to just be single and talk to whoever i want do whatever i want. I am really starting to miss when i was single and could go to the club anytime without having to worry or i could go ona week guys trip without her being upset i know i sound selfish but i hate having to think of someone else anytime i want to do something im starting to feel like im sitll young and should go live my life and let her find someone who can fully commit to her and be her peace. Also we have 2 super different backgrounds I am black and my family loves her but she is middle eastern and her parents would disown her if they found out we were dating. She is a great girl and a great girlfriend we always have fun together but we always argue like 3 times every week. I just dont see myself marrying her and ive been feeling this way for months and I know im just wasting time. I just dont know if i should suck it up for 2 more weeks or just end it now and any advice on how to have a clean breakup would help me too thank you
TL:DR
Me(22m) and my girlfriend (21F) of 3 years are having lots of problems and I think its better we go our separate ways i want to break up with her but her birthday is in 2 weeks
7 comments
its best to be honest and rip the bandaid off now. dont put it off or youll feel worse in the long run
edit to clarify: be honest, but dont be rude! talk about how you both need space to grow, and to take accountability for both of your parts in arguments. you can 100% be honest withoht being mean and i wish you the best of luck.
edit 2: didnt even see the part where you mentioned you cheated until now. i hope she dumps *you*.
I was in a relationship with a guy who waited to break up after my birthday, and I can tell you for me it would have been better to just rip the bandaid off sooner rather than later. Yeah, it’s gonna suck, but it’s gonna suck just as bad when she finds out you were only with her because you didn’t want to break up that close to her birthday. You’re clearly unhappy in this relationship and it needs to end. It’s not fair to either of you to lead her on, even if it’s only for 2-3 weeks
Don’t stay with her cause you feel bad. That’s worse. I was married and stayed longer than I should have. If things are beyond repair, or you’re getting that feeling of “I really miss being single” I would cut it off sooner than later. You don’t want to lead her on that things are fine too. You’re young and you have time to find the right one. Do what’s best for YOU while it’s early and your young, before you’re forced to think of what’s best for “US” when you’re with the right one. As long as you do what’s best for you, the right one will come along while their doing what’s best for them. Family is also extremely important. Those problems are harder if at all possible to truly fix because they are older and set in their ways. Make sure early (one of the first things you talk about when deciding to get serious) what her family is like and yours and if they can mix. If that is important to you, don’t compromise that. Saves you a lot of headache later on trust me. Best to you!!!
It’s fine if her birthday is coming up soon. Just break up with her. It’s better than stringing her along and ruining her life.
Also shame on you for cheating.
You already don’t give a shit about her, as you’ve already cheated and are writing a shit post complaining about how you would rather be without her…. On your anniversary at that lmao why do you care about her birthday?
Just break up with her already.
You cheated on her and that’s caused a tsunami of issues in your relationship especially with trust. That’s why the past year has been rough, not all but mainly because of you cheating on her.
My advice would be to hold out until after her birthday, then break up with her a week and half after.
Two reasons, the first one is because you’ve already ruined your relationship with her and wasted 3 years of her life. Do you really want to also hurt her on her birthday? She obviously loves and cares about you since she’s forgiven you. But cheating is one of the lowest things you can do to someone you love because it breaks the connection and trust between you both.
Secondly, she deserves someone who will love her and be committed to her. You asked for a second chance after cheating and she tried to make it work, seems like you’ve given up so let her go. Let her find someone who will make her happy and love her and won’t cheat on her.
Then, you spend sometime working on yourself. If you truly want a monogamous relationship, you have to be committed and faithful. Please be more thoughtful of the feelings of those who truly love and care for you.