Anyone else, when turning 30 (have been for a few months), felt sad that they didn't make the most of their potential in their 20s? Don't get me wrong, I got to go to some parties, slept with pretty women, travelled the country, worked for several different companies, built a savings, got a girlfriend, got my graduate degree, met a few nice friends along the way. Regardless, of all that I feel kind of lousy. I'm grateful, but I still feel empty, I still feel a void in the world.
I guess my question is, for the ones not entirely happy with their lives, did it ever achieve that feeling of completeness. Why am I crying at night wondering where the time slipped away or if I made the most of it all? Why am I feel deep remorse for all this?
19 comments
I dated an awful woman from 21-28 and worked a $50k/yr job even though I had a degree. I felt the same way you did.
Now I’m 35, making six figures, about to close on a house and get engaged (I hope).
You can’t get back the time that’s behind you. And your life isn’t over now that you’re 30. You have many great years ahead of you. Try new things and figure out what gets you out of bed in the morning.
You are miles ahead of most of Reddit at 30. Why are you sad?
Try not to be upset as to what you did or did not do. Look forward to what you can do. They say comparison is the thief of Joy. Well not just compare yourself but compare your past to your present or maybe even your future. You can change your future. You can even change your present. Nothing says you have to stay where you are.
I spent the majority of my 20s in a relationship/marriage with someone who, quite frankly, I had no business being with. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but there are a lot of things I rather would have done instead.
The good news is that your life isn’t over just because you hit your 30s dude. If there are things you wish you did in your 20s then just do them in your 30s. Although as you get older your perspectives and wants/needs will change.
Just live your life the way you want to, regardless of what other people might think
Your 20s sound pretty fucking good to me. Lol.
If you’re upset that you could’ve done more. Well that’s life. 99.9999% of people could have done more. Be grateful for what you have. If you thought your 20s went by fast, your 30s are going to go by even faster.
Can’t go back so I look forward. Did I not make the most of something before, I can do it differently today/tomorrow.
I’m 35, wasted my 20s at the bottom of whatever can, bottle, shot glass or pint alcohol came to me in. I did nothing with my 20s, I was fat, alcoholic, given to extreme anxiety and panic attacks on an almost daily basis. Work whatever dead end job I had, come home, put kid to bed, and drink till passing out. Why my wife didn’t leave me I will never know.
To my point though, we all do our twenties different, in my opinion I think you did great. Travel? Party? Pretty women? Sounds awesome. It’s normal to feel sad about leaving your twenties behind. You’re not a spring chicken anymore, society has expectations of you, maybe your feeling the first true feelings of “this won’t last forever” take a deep breath when those feelings hit you, sit with them for a minute and process them. But eventually, you’ll have to accept there’s no going back and maybe these feelings will help you focus on how you REALLY want your life to go from here. In the end all these numbers are arbitrary cut offs that we apply to ourselves. You (and I for that matter) are still very young, you have plenty of time to do what you want. Just might be time to start focusing on what that is. Sorry for the novel.
Eh, not sad at all.
In fact I feel blessed.
University dropout, moved out of parents, did bunch of low level jobs.
Currently making 6 figures, a loving partner, my relationship with my immediate family is at all time high.
Majority of my friends who also worked low level jobs have also moved up, now making 6 figure or close to it.
I feel blessed because everyone I know made it out.
You need perspective. I’m 68 and have had 2 20 plus year marriages.
You literally have only lived 15th of your adult life.
At 46 I caught a 29 year old wife and the last 22 years with her have been pure bliss.
The greatest gift this life has to offer is a strong romantic, sexual, friendship, and spiritual relationship with ONE woman who you become incredibly one with!
This should be your 1st priority if you want a happy life.
You’ve grown up in what I call the porn era. Porn is a really bad teacher when it comes to what women want from sex. Porn teaches animal fucking and how to use a woman as a fancy masturbation toy. Women CRAVE spiritual connection during LOVEMAKING.
Once you learn to make sex more about that spiritual connection and less about the physical release then that’s when lovemaking becomes incredibly amazing and utterly fulfilling.
Here are some tantric sex techniques that my wife and I discovered years ago that’s brought us much closer spiritually.
Connection meditation
Part 1 https://youtu.be/akZvjviPw6Y?si=DYNGh0f0VeCM48VP
Part 2
https://youtu.be/skr0iVqlRVc?si=x4KOyspebCtGl5GZ
Lingam massage
https://mytinysecrets.com/lingam-massage-a-magical-guide-to-a-happy-penis/
Yoni massage
https://karmatantric.com/yoni-massage-guide/
My twenties were unreal, feels like a movie sometimes and always leaves me with smiles. They’re all married now, with 3 or 4 kids each but we had a blast, they used to call us ‘the Jackson 5’ lol
We were practically brothers who hanged out ALL the time, if we weren’t at work we were hanging out. Anyway I remember my twenties and early 30s very fondly, different times too.
I was thinking the other day, I don’t remember the last time i saw a group of dudes just hanging out and having a good time!
Seriously life is just getting started for a guy at 30. I’m 37 and far from my peak.
Wait until you turn 80 and feel sad how your entire life unfolded 🤣
38m. I’ve never made it past a 3rd date, never had a girlfriend, i’m on a 10 year dry spell, and i’ve always worn a condom during PiV sex. All of my IRL friends are married. Not some, not most, ALL.
Not only do i feel left behind, i am left behind.
However, i would rather be single, dateless, and sexless than deal with the drama of a typical Western woman. My interaction tonight on another subreddit confirms i’m better off not in a relationship with a miserable Western woman.
I have a job i enjoy. And my IRL are great. It’s just a shame I can’t relate to their married lives.
Idk if this comment helps and i know comments like “oh be happy you aren’t paraplegic” come off as ridiculous.
If you don’t feel sad at the end of your 20s, you never had any ambition for something better. Be happy you still have the drive to be more. Too many people lose that
I’m not much older than you, but man let me tell you time goes even faster after 30 lol. It’s wild.
I don’t really give a fuck, I just keep waking up in the morning. I’m 30
existential angst, seriously it’s just part of the human condition. you could be sleeping with a list models, have found your soulmate and play quarterback in the NFL and still feel the same, plenty of successful celebrities tell us that, they aren’t just faking it
the point is that this doubt and fear is built in, it’s part of our survival instinct. it just means you haven’t settled into complacency and a small soft impervious bubble.
keep moving forward and as John cale once sang, fear is a man’s best friend
I don’t know what you’re sad about because your 20’s sounds great and I wished I had that experience. Mine had none of that and I’m trying to salvage the most of the 30’s with whatever scraps I can find and I don’t even know if it will even know if I will achieve anything or if it will be worth it in the end.
Your 20s are for learning, your 30s are when you get to start enjoying the fruits of your 20s failures. Your life is just starting to get good, trust me.
To your question, yes I experienced the same feelings turning 30. But now I value where I am because of my 20s.