My girlfriend (22F) is having a hard time giving me (21F) reassurance and don’t know to communicate even though i already spelled it out for her multiple times. Almost all of the fights we’ve had i always bring it up that she needs to communicate and not leave me hanging but whenever i talk about my feelings and thoughts and my doubts about myself, her, and our relationship she stays quiet and i don’t know but i really think that’s when i need her most to speak her mind and hear whatever she’s thinking and feeling but she just stays silent and it’s like she just “listens” and not say anything and “brush it off” and go on w the day like nothing happened and like i didn’t pour my heart out, i also have vulnerability issues but i try for her. i just want to quiet my mind and her mind but she finds it hard to communicate and reassure when i need it most. i told her last night when i’m having doubts or if i’m blaming myself about everything, “reassure me please” (i had doubts btw bcs she kinda indirectly told me i’m the sole reason why we fight, i’m the problem) but she told me to leave instead and it made me question myself and everything i’ve done for our relationship and for her. made me question my worth.
it’s just sad that whenever i express how i feel, she’s like “i did this to you but you also did this to me couple days ago” “you are feeling this way bcs of what you did and said to me earlier” it’s like i can’t be hurt or sulk about something bcs i made a mistake couple hours ago or days ago. it’s like it’s wrong to say how i feel and feel hurt bcs apparently i’m a “bad person”
please be nice. i just wanna know other people’s thoughts because i don’t know anymore