Going to start this post off by saying I know being a people pleaser is nothing to be proud of and I am actively working on it in therapy. 🙂
That being said, I was with some friends this weekend and an instance occurred where some of my people pleasing tendencies showed up as we were trying to decide where to eat dinner. The next morning at breakfast, two friends were reliving the conversation by repeating what I had said but in a mocking tone. Something like "No, no we can do whatever I really don't care." And then they would follow up with a snarky comment like "You actually do care but whatever". This was said under their breath and they didn't intend for everyone to hear, but another friend who struggles with people pleasing called them out for it. They claimed they were just being funny but the other friend called them mean.
I think something people don't understand is that people pleasers are fully aware of their behavior and dislike it just as much as anybody else. But it goes much, much deeper than people may think. People pleasers are not these naive, weak minded people but actually a few steps ahead in some situations. For me, it's about trying to control a situation and subsequently people's reaction to a situation. I want a calm environment, so I will do anything I can to make sure everyone is calm and happy, even at my own expense. Not justifying people pleasing here, more-so explaining it.
I felt hurt when they were mocking the situation. I felt belittled. I felt stupid and as though they don't think I am aware of the behavior and all of the little things that come with it. And most importantly I felt like I couldn't stand up for myself because of how unserious people take us people pleasers. To them it was a joke, to me in felt like a slight attack on my character. I'm a good person, I just want everyone to be happy. I'm not sure why that deserves mocking. I'm not asking for pity, but I wish people had a little more compassion for us. I would love to hear the opposite side of this situation as well. I know it's annoying to be around serial people pleasers, just know that it's an internal battle for that person and they mean no harm.