Hello so me (30 years old male) and wife(30 years old female) have been living together for 5 months, we recently moved out of our apartment due to financial hardship and we broke our lease from our apartment and since May 15th we both been living back at our parents house in the meantime until June 1st 2022. On June 1st 2022 we will move again to an apartment of a friend she knows who offered her the apartment so now until June we both are hanging tight in our own homes until the move.
Recently about 3 days ago she mentions to me that she starts to feel bad with waist pain and her body hurting. Her mother left to her hometown this past Friday so my wife is in her home alone. I still look out for her however for example on Sunday I went over and brought her a cooked meal from my house and I took her out to eat and then bought her some groceries for the upcoming week. On Monday we didnt see each other but I called her at nighttime and had a conversation and I asked her how shes doing and if she was feeling better, again making sure shes okay.
On Tuesday is when I get upset, for instance she calls me and we speak and then she ask what I’m up to and I tell her I’m on my way home and then she says Ohh I thought you would pass by and visit. I stayed quiet and then told her I was tired cause long day at work and I told her I would pass by Wednesday and the upcoming weekend to sleep over. Then she says in a sarcastic tone that she told her coworkers she was feeling bad and that they asked her did your husband help you and then my wife mentions to her coworker that no hes disappeared from action and that hes at his moms place. The fact that she told me this in detail irritated me and I even told her I didnt like that she said that. She also said on the phone that I could of least asked if she needed something or anything and I just felt out of place and really threw me off because just on Sunday I did a lot for her and I felt like she didnt recognize it.
On Wednesday yesterday I passed by to visit her and again brought over some food a pack of rice, and some fish so she can have some food to cook again showing her my concern and care and then I ended up giving her a waist massage so she can feel better. I then sat her down and told her how I felt that I didnt like how she was being sarcastic and imprudent when addressing on Tuesday over the phone that I am disappeared or that Im not showing much attention when these past days I been visiting her, bringing her food, groceries and etc. I told her sometimes I feel you depend on me and that you need to be more independent and that I wont always be there all the time.
I even asked her if she needed to go to the hospital and she said she didnt want to so I’m guessing it wasnt really an emergency situation since she also went to work. In a way I honestly felt not much appreciated for the things I done and feel like sometimes she is selfish and thinks more about her needs. Just needing some advice to see if I am wrong here or If I have a right to feel not appreciated
5 comments
>Just needing some advice to see if I am wrong here or If I have a right to feel not appreciated
I think, you should be doing things for your Wife as ways to help her, and not as ways for you to obtain appreciation and thanks.
If she appreciates what you’re doing and thanks you for it, that’s a bonus is how I see it.
You’re 30 years old, married 5 months and due to financial issues, you both moved in with your respective parents….
DUDE! Prioritize your relationship! Y’all should be going out of your way to **be together**. Even if that means squishing into a twin bed.
Don’t call your wife selfish because she (checks notes) wants a hug from her husband when she’s sick. You’re treating her like you’re a cat sitter. Stop over for a visit to make sure she’s fed and gets a bit of cuddles, then heading home to mama with the better food and cable.
Move back in together, NOW.
Harsh truth but you’re the one who’s selfish here. Your wife is obviously going through something and you’ve made the bare minimum effort. You’re not just dating and living separately. She’s your wife. On top of that this situation is very temporary so you should be able to suck it up for a few weeks and make sure she’s taken care of while she’s unwell.
Why are you and your wife at separate houses?! Why didn’t you both go to one house to stay for these couple of weeks? And I really don’t see how she is being selfish…she isn’t doing well and her HUSBAND, who is staying at his parents house without her, can’t make the time to come see her or take her to a doctor. I’m glad you brought her food at least, but I didn’t miss the part where you said “so she can have some food to cook”, meaning you didn’t cook with her or for her.
What kind of grown ups are you? Married and living separately? And you’re both 30.
I just can’t get past the fact that you are married and think this is a good scenario.