Edit: after typing all of this I realize how stupid it sounds, specifically our sexual habits and my clear lack of understanding of cycles/ovulation. I’m not a troll, just a fool. Please be kind and offer constructive criticisms, I’m open to learning more!
My wife and I have always gone without a condom for at least a portion of our sexscapades. She’s had an IUD since before we met. Based on the expected “expiration date” of her IUD, as well as the fact that based on how her cycle is changing (originally she had no period at all after getting the IUD; in the semi recent past, she’s started getting more cycle-ish stuff) we’re wondering how effective her IUD is. So we sometimes use condoms when I finish. Sometimes we get caught in the heat of the moment and just do without. Not the smartest but it’s happened.
She’s extremely eager to have kids, and while I’m also excited, I don’t want them yet (want to get in a better financial spot, and want us to work on our healthy habits first). Yesterday she told me how she’s been horny since the morning, and how she also thinks she’s ovulating (which as she explained it means her body’s really trying to tell her that she’s good to go for getting pregnant, and that she should really go for it). This led to us having sex, and as we normally do we do it raw to start but I put a condom on before I finish. Well she was very resistant to me putting a condom on, and kept asking me to just finish inside her, but I said I’m not going to do that and grabbed a condom, and as I start going again after putting it on, I can tell she’s upset by it: no longer making noise or giving any indication that she enjoys it. So I stop and ask if she’s okay, comfort her, etc. We end up not finishing.
Overall it just sucked that she was/is emotionally wounded by me not wanting to finish inside her because she knows that’s me saying I don’t want kids at this exact moment. I’m not really sure how to navigate this. Why/how am I going to get in the mood to have sex going forward if my having boundaries is a turn off for her and frustrates her?