TL:DR
My friend (21F) and I (22F) have been close friends for 8 years. We have been planning to travel to a new city and move in together but she suddenly brought up wanting to move ahead. I disagreed with her because the reasoning she gave me doesn't seem practical nor does it conflict with our original plan. Moving ahead seems more of a "Want" than a "Need" for her, My problem isn't that she wants to go ahead, necessarily, it's how insistent she is on it and how quickly she seemed to change her mind. It makes me doubt her and our plans to move together. I plan to continue this conversation with her but I want to know second opinions or alternate points of view.
My friend (21F) and I (22F) come from a small town. For a long time we've been talking about moving together to the same city. Now that we've both graduated college we've been talking about our plans in greater detail and have a solid idea of when we want to go and how we're going to get there (which is during the middle of next year.)
We talked about her going ahead in earlier conversations. She was supposed to have an internship in the city and because I didn't have any jobs lined up at the time it made sense to me for her to do that. However her internship fell through because the people she wanted to go with decided not to pursue it. So instead she's been searching for remote work online. In the meantime I managed to find remote work that pays well and for these past few months I've been saving money for our move. We both agreed to travel and move together at the same time.
During our most recent conversation, she brought up wanting to leave ahead of me but reassured me that said she still wanted to move in together. I asked her why she wanted to move ahead when we decided to travel together mid-2025.
I'm not opposed to going earlier than planned. I brought up the idea of moving early next year because I felt that I would have enough money saved by then and in response to that she was the one who suggested a mid-2025 move date.
Her reasoning was that she wanted to try living on her own for a few months while I saved up. I told her there's no need for me to save up because by that time I would've already reached my goal. She mentioned missing her boyfriend who lives in the city and again I told her it's not like I would be making her wait to move. It's the other way around. When I brought up living arrangements she told me she'd find a boarding house or apartment to stay in and again it makes no sense to me because it's not like there'll be a huge gap between her moving and me moving. Having to deal with the lease for one apartment when we're moving into another one together anyway just seems like an unnecessary extra step to me. She mentioned going ahead to find a job in the city and again I asked her how that conflicted with our plans when, if I went with her, we could get an apartment together and she'd have that safety net while she looked around for a job.
We decided to shelve the conversation because she kept insisting on it and I felt like I couldn't get a straight answer from her.
She was always more eager about our plans to move. She kept hinting and sometimes almost insisted we travel and live together. The problem for me isn't that she wants to move ahead it's how sudden this change of mind is, how insistent she's being and how unilateral it feels.
Near the end of our conversation she referred to her plan as a "possibility" and "being up in the air" but I'm starting to doubt the idea of moving with her because I worry she'll change or drop our plans at the last minute (ex. She'll move with her boyfriend. Decide she wants to live alone after all.)
She's done it in the past. Not all the time but it has happened.
How should I approach this conversation with her again? I wanted to post this here because I want to get a second opinion or different views from other people.