We were out front drinking, talking and on our phones. I get up to a get a cigarette and she locks her phone real quick so I grab it from her and there it is.
"I miss you too I don't know why I can't" that's all she had time to write.
Number was saved under a friend's name.
I don't know what I'm going to do now. Rent is so expensive my business is barley staying busy.
This sucks big time.
11 comments
Need more context big dog, but you do the thing that a man does, confront her, ask her about it when your both aware and sober, don’t try to take her out and resolve things. Talk about it head on and get the truth- Then go from there.
All you can do. Maybe you could at least talk openly about what you both want or need. Be honest but also listen for her mindset and try to understand to a point. Or if you can’t do that, you have to go and find a way to emotional freedom.
I don’t know what advice to offer but wanted you to know that I’m sorry you’re going through this. That’s awful that you need to go through that.
I know this is ask men so feel free to ignore what I’m saying. Were there other messages that make you sure she was talking to a man? I tell my friends I miss them all the time. I also tell them I love them regularly. If I was about to tell my friend something I didn’t want my partner to see I might shut the message down real quick. It doesn’t mean that anything inherently wrong was happening.
As others have said you just need to ask your wife about it when you’re both sober. Her reaction will tell you what you need to know.
So, you think she is cheating on you? Honestly this isn’t a strangers on the internet thing. You have two options, say nothing and file for divorce and potentially be wrong, or be an adult and ask her what is going on, and listen and deal with the fall out.
I’ve been friends with tons of women and not known thier husbands. I don’t have issues with wanting to cross lines and would shut that down if any of them tried. So there is a possibility they are just friends. The text makes it look like more, but we can’t assume.
You can’t get angry at her. If she is disrespecting you and cheating, then that’s on her. You can’t force her to stay. Being angry at her will hurt you. Stay calm, go somewhere safe, find some one you trust to talk to. Talk, feel the emotions and processes them. Actually feel them. Don’t try to numb them or push them down because that doesn’t work. If she is cheating it’s up to you if you can forgive. Know that even though the betrayal hurts and things look dark, it can be the beginning of something new.
Respect mate.
Obviously things on both ends have been brewing, we’re both bad with talking about our emotions is the main thing. That’s the reason why there’s really no anger or animosity. I’ve been fed up with her drinking because she gets black out drunk every time we drink and has to be drug inside.
We were talking about giving my old truck to her son as a birthday gift but almost a year before his birthday my dad’s truck broke down and needed something in the meantime while we fix his truck but it didn’t work out so my dad still has my truck. She said I’m always choosing my dad over her and gave a couple other smaller examples. I thought we worked through that and were on the same page but apparently that was when she decided the marriage was over in her eyes.
I don’t know when the other dude came in the picture she won’t give me ANY detail about him or what they’ve been up to.
>Rent is so expensive my business is barley staying busy.
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, create an emergency fund.
Walk away
I think you might need to talk to your wife.
You grabbed her phone? Hopefully she leaves your loser ass for some other guy.
And those words you read? WTF who cares? She’s texting someone. None of that is abnormal in the slightest.
You already don’t trust her. Time to move on from her. Life is too short to spend it with someone you can’t trust and wants to be with other people.
I get the business thing. Ran a GC business for 19 years. If you’re good at what you do and focus on strengthening your company it will work out. But it’s 24/7 brother. You gotta hustle.
As for rent. You can figure something out. When I was young I always found cheap digs. Shit, I lived in a cabin for 2 years that didn’t have running water. It was dirt cheap and actually a cool place just outside of a small city. Also “home sat” for another 2. Place was sweet and the owners only showed up for a weekend every month or two. I’m telling you, they’re out there. You just got to look hard and get a little lucky.
I highly suggest you stay out of the bar and places that waste your money and stash as much as you can.