How did you notice you were the least favourite child ?

19 comments

  1. I always had the feeling, neither of my parents were close with me as a teen or adult. There is some bad blood. But when I came to visit in my early 30s I noticed that they had a ton of family photos lining their hallway stairs, brother and family, sisters. Kids photos, teen photos, adult. Not a single picture of me anywhere in the house. I think at that point I was well aware, it shouldn’t have been surprising.

  2. Always had the feeling. When I was younger and going through shit, my parents won’t do anything to help me as they felt it was good for building character and resilience. Recently my dad said he’s glad i went through so much and that I can help my sister (younger) out in her time of need

  4. I didn’t notice until I was in my 30s. I was heartbroken and I still am.
    I honestly came across a conversation between my mom and my sister. I couldn’t believe how much they disliked me behind my back and “loved me” to my face. It took me a few months to approach them and 3 years later, my mom has since passed and my sister seldom speaks to me and I don’t get to spend time with my niece and nephew. Neither of them took accountability for their actions. My mother wrote me out of her will.
    I truly believe it is because I am very similar to my dad (they divorced when I was 10) and/or she was unhappy in her marriage to my dad and possibly didn’t want a second child and I was an accident. I will never know the truth. But my mother made it crystal clear she loved my sister much more than she loved me. She also gave my sister $200k while she was still alive to purchase a house. I purchased my home without her helping hand, and I sure could have used it.

  5. When I was little, I wasn’t allowed to go to a Tigers game because I wasn’t old enough. Many invites from friends’ families. I finally was able to go and loved it. I was proud that I’d shown I deserved to be treated as an older child. One week later my 2 year younger brother was allowed to go to a game. I never got a decent explanation for that. When I was in high school, I had to arrange a ride to school. I was an A student and went to Yale. When my brother was in high school, he got a Camaro. New. He was not a particularly good student in high school but he was phi beta kappa his junior year at Michigan, so I’m not saying he was or is dumb, just that he got a Camaro in high school while I had to catch rides with whomever.

  6. The amount of money and time spent on my sisters hobby (sports) versus mine (arts)

    Like I get that sports have competitions, so the money spent on travel ball to get to tournaments every other weekend is one thing. But she also got pitching and batting coaches and equipment. Not once did anyone think of getting me into like an extra art class beyond the regular school classes, and the expensive good art materials was off limits, despite my sister getting top of the line softball bats and cleats and mitts.

    Anything I ever asked for was always no.

    I finally confessed I was molested by an older-but-still-also-a-child relative and while they did convey this info to that relatives parents, after that it was just never talked about again, no asking me if I’m ok or if I need therapy.

    I was left alone constantly because I was tired of being drug around to the tournaments and games where I was left alone anyway because they were cheering her on so I had to find a way to keep myself entertained.

    I didn’t learn how to make and keep friends because I never found my tribe. And anytime I try to explain these things to them not as an accusation but as a “can you understand how these things affected me” I just get excuses for why things were the way they were. I don’t want excuses. I don’t even want apologies. I just want them to understand that “Just go make friends” isn’t as easy when I didn’t learn how because I was always fucking alone. I just want them to see you cant spend a child’s entire life ignoring them and then act baffled for why they don’t behave the same way as the one you gave all the attention to.

  7. My mom was a single parent, but bought my brother cars, didn’t charge him rent (he lived rent free for 33 years), helped pay rent a few times at his apartment (once he moved out), his car payments etc.

    I was expected to pay rent at 18 and if I ever had to live at home I paid rent. I bought my own car etc etc etc. the reasoning? “I always knew you were capable”. Anyhow, my brother is 50 now and gets mad bc mom isn’t giving him money anymore and “won’t help”. A sob story I just can’t get behind.

  8. It’s always been a Thing. My mom even admitted as much. She said my younger brother was so much easier because he was extroverted and charming.

    Now I’m childless and my brother has a kid. We both live very far away from her. She’s visited my brother five times in the past four years. She hasn’t visited me once and even noped out of my wedding last January.

  9. I am the favorite child. But I’m also the most taken advantage of child because I’m the most reliable. Double edged sword.

  10. My stepmom hated me from the get-go. She favored my brother, even over her own daughter. She was just meaner to us, took everything I said or did as a slight against her, and she would pick fights constantly so she could prove to my dad how awful I was.

    She mostly ignored her daughter if she wasn’t taking advantage of her.

    Now that her daughter is NC I’ve moved up the totem pole, but I know she favors my brother over me. She just always wanted a boy.

  11. I have a good relationship with my dad but the problem is usually
    With my mom. I cannot do anything right in her eyes. Anything I achieve I get the why can’t you do better. One day we were peaceful walking and having a nice conversation and all of the sudden she just stopped and looked at me. She started on how big of a disappointment I was to her. Pretty much how she deserved better on a daughter. How everyone agreed that I was the weirdest one out of all my cousins. How embarrassing it was to have to explain me to everyone. And she just went on and on. I mean I knew I wasn’t her favorite person I just didn’t know how much she disliked me even as a person. I was the first in my family to go off to college. I got almost a full ride. I don’t live with my parents. I am fully financially independent. Most of my cousins got pregnant young either still live with their parents or near by. They depends on their parents for childcare and at times for economic reasons. I have some cousins that have never had a job. They refuse to get a job or pay rent so their parents take care of them. Yet according to her I’m the weird and dislikable one. But if that’s her version of what a successful person looks like then I am happy to displease her.

  12. The abuse I endured. When I turned 18 my step mom was so “kind” to inform me she didn’t like me off the rip. I was only like 5 years old at the time. She asked my dad to give me the short of the end of the stick and he did. The other 2 kids got all the attention. I spent majority of my childhood pretty isolated.

  13. It’s pretty obvious. Mom has photos of her everywhere in the house. She has her own room, mom drives her everywhere, mom cooks all her meals, she’s got a heated blanket in every room of the house, she only has to yell out to mom if she needs something. Also she’s a 5lb 12 year old chihuahua. Mom has admitted to my brother and I that she’s the favorite child.

  14. My mom remarried when I was 13 and she got pregnant when I was 15. Everything changed and my SD clearly wished I wasn’t around.

    I started working at 14 (cash gigs like yard work, painting, cleaning) and paid for all of my school supplies, clothes, shoes, school fees etc from then on. SD had me doing the chores while my mom was at work (he wasn’t able to work at the time), so I worked, cleaned the entire house, went to school, and did fall/spring sports while he…didn’t work.

    At 16 I got a fast food job and I would sometimes get off at 3am. SD would wake me up at 7:30 for chores and called me lazy and a b***h more than once if I even acted tired. He also had listening devices in our home and they both used those to eavesdrop on me talking to my granddad. He was the only person who cared about me in that house, and they’d ask things they could only know if I was being recorded. One day, just out of curiosity, I walked down the hall and said “I know you’re recording me and that’s effed up.”

    The next day, my mom called me at work berating me for using the “F” word. I had to write an apology letter to that bastard, can you believe it?

    My mom stopped defending me bc she was overwhelmed but one of the worst “ouch” moments was when they went to a show I had wanted to go to for years…without me. They took my 2 year old sister but not me. Didn’t even invite me. My sister grew up spoiled, she didn’t work until 18 and really barely held a job, they took her all around the world, bought her a car and so much more that I never had the opportunity to experience.

    Two years ago SD basically kicked my mom out and they’re divorced. I had to pick up the pieces but the big middle finger was he said he had no money (which is true, he’s terrible with money) but my mom needed a car to get to work. I take my little savings and put a down payment on a car for her, and as soon as I confirmed purchase my sister and now exSD went on a 30-day vacation across Europe.

  15. The fact that my mom babied my brother and my sister and I was always the one she had cleaning after them and cooking as well. I would get in trouble if my sister and I’s room was messy usually and she’d make me clean it even when I was older like 14, my sister is 3 years younger. If we had guests over I was put to clean and cool while my brother and sometimes my sister were chillin.
    If I got an A- I was asked why it wasn’t an A+, although I was a straight A student. If my siblings got a C or B they were praised. I was blamed for so much as a kid I still feel sometimes everything is my fault.

  18. I’ve always felt that I’m not as important as the oldest and the youngest. The oldest was always right, the youngest were always the ones who got the things I wanted. I was just in the middle, felt ignored a lot, the oldest and youngest were always getting all the attention and I always had to have them in mind in many family scenarios which also meant I didn’t get what I needed because they needed it more…

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