Asked a similar question on r/askwomen, post got removed, let’s try here

46 comments

  1. There are a few possible explanations for this phenomenon. One possibility is that women are attracted to men who are already in relationships because they perceive these men as being more desirable and thus more likely to be good partners. Another possibility is that women see men who are in relationships as being more emotionally unavailable and thus less likely to be interested in them, which makes them more desirable. Finally, it could simply be that women are more likely to approach men who are already in relationships because they feel like they have nothing to lose by doing so.

  4. This is why PUA’s sometimes wear fake wedding rings when they go to pick up women.

  6. Pre-selection

    In a woman’s mind, a man, on his own, is a threat. Schrodinger’s Rapist, and all that.

    However, a man, with a woman or girlfriend, must have something to offer that convinced that woman to date/go out with him. ‘If he’s good enough for her, he must be good enough for me’ goes the thought process. Or, a man that’s wanted by one woman must therefore be wanted by many.

  7. If you’re with a woman, it can be assumed that you are somewhat safe to interact with.

    Motivations are always assumptions, but you get beyond defenses because you have demonstrated that you can interact successfully

  8. Probably because the chance of you sexually assualting them are lower and thats why they’re more comfortable.
    Probably not more interested, but instead more comfortable because you’re less likely to expect something sexual from them.

  9. Hmm… I see no improvement in interest by other women. Maybe cause I pay them no mind.

  10. Women are herd animals. They go with the herd. If some other woman approves of you, then she wants you. If you are alone, she interprets that as “not woman approved.” No other woman wants you, so she doesn’t either.

  12. You probably come across as just a friendly dude instead of someone trying to get in their pants. Tends to help.

  13. I think a big part of it is that you might be more confident in yourself while in a relationship and are thus more attractive.

    If you never feel the need to impress anyone then you have confidence which is attractive.

  14. Not a clue but it’s a strange phenomenon, before I met my wife going out and trying to meet women was almost impossible! As soon as they see a wedding ring it’s like they want to hit on me, maybe some women see it as a challenge, or are just more attracted to taken men, I really don’t know! Have to admit I enjoy the attention haha!

  15. Because you aren’t trying to fuck them, and also most of them aren’t more interested in you – they just feel safer in interacting with you because they aren’t expecting you to hit on them.

    Arguments like “because people want what they can’t have” aren’t universal. Do *you* want to fuck a chick more when you find out she has a boyfriend? If you aren’t a sociopath, you don’t.

    But you having a girlfriend means you aren’t looking for a girlfriend, which means you aren’t low-key hitting on every woman you find even marginally attractive.

    So because you’re treating them like another human being and not an ambulatory fuckdoll, they’re more interested in interacting with you.

    And you’re mistaking that social interest as sexual interest.

    Now, sure, this isn’t universal. There are genuinely women who are more interested in you because you’re good enough for some woman so you’re safe and that makes you good enough for them. But those are sociopaths.

    As I said – most likely they’re friendlier because every interaction you’re having doesn’t have an unspoken “…and I got some dick if you want it” attached.

  16. Lol am not surprised it got removed from that shit show sub. I got banned for asking a respectful sexual question and the mods got so pissy.

  17. along with the woman-approved aspect,‘i feel like you probably have a bit more confidence while in a relationship and it subconsciously shows

  18. It’s pre-selection. A single man is more or less a possible threat based on unfamiliarity alone. A man in a relationship is deemed “cleared” most of the times in terms of safety and then desire all because if there’s a woman who wants him, then he’s got to have something going on for himself.

    Another possibility is due to the shoddy at best emotional support systems most men have and their tendency leaning on their partners for emotional management, a man in a relationship is more likely to come off as emotionally unavailable and relaxed without the undercut of “I wanna stick my dick so deep into you that whoever pulls it out would be the next ruler of Britain” that most men have for most women, which sets him apart and makes him interesting and attractive.

    I’d recommend that instead of r/AskWomen, you post in r/AskWomenNoCensor, it’s a lot better.

  20. They think that the fact that you’re in a relationship with a girl proves that:

    1. You’re not crazy.
    2. You’re relationship material.
    3. Your dick works.

  21. Whether you’re aware of it or not, your demeanor changes. Women can (usually) sense when a guy is trying to get with them and that tends to be a turn off in a lot of situations. All of a sudden that’s not your goal anymore and it makes you more attractive

  22. It means another woman, who has that magical feminine intuition, found you attractive enough to invest in. It’s the same reason men with babies are attractive to some women. Women are also more prone to collective influence and following trends.

  23. Or women would likely to pursue a platonic friendship with a guy knowing the guy is not interested in them or no risk of the guy falling for her.

  24. It’s just the simple essence of confidence that comes out of a man who is in a relationship and not being sexually needy that automatically puts women at ease. They have a 6th sense for calmness.

  25. Because the fact that you are demonstrably capable of having a girlfriend is a pretty good signal that you are not a useless shitbag with nothing to offer.

    END COMMUNICATION

  26. Many women don’t become more interested, but of the ones who do, these are what I’d say are the most likely reasons. Which, if any, applies will vary by woman…

    (1) She doesn’t actually want anything to happen, but now she feels it’s safe to flirt for fun.

    (2) She doesn’t actually want anything to happen, but she likes to tease and get the affection of someone who’s taken.

    (3) She does want something to happen. She gets off on “stealing” taken men.

    (4) Your energy is different. You might be more relaxed and confident. Plus, you’re not hitting on her. All of that combined allows a woman to grow more comfortable in your company and start wanting you. *[This is extremely important for many women, especially many who are pursued more than they want to be. It’s like they can put down their defenses and just bond with you. For many women, feelings of attraction happen after feeling a connection like that. And those connections don’t need to take long to build. It can be a feeling you get with someone pretty early in a convo.]*

    (5) It becomes slightly safer to assume that you understand women and treat them well.

    (6) You have the seal of approval, which makes it slightly safer to assume that you’re desirable and have your shit together (or, if not the latter, you at least know how to have a good time).

    (7) You might be reading some or most of them incorrectly. They might just be more comfortable and friendly because it feels safe to be so.

  27. How do you know that? Is it your imagination? Yes, it is that.

    How do people know that you are “in a relationship” without you telling them? It is good that you have a positive outlook thinking that others desire you when you are truly unavailable.

    Life is like that.

  28. Many good answers here. I would add that, whether you know it or not, guys in relationship typically show more confidence in themselves around other people as you are not focused on trying to impress other girls. Thus you appear more confident because you don’t care, thus woman are more attracted to you due to that confidence and free feeling you show.

  29. People in relationships tend to be more confident and also aren’t casually looking at every women (or person) to see if they want to be with them. Minding your own business, doing your natural thing, and being confident are incredibly attractive traits and unfortunately a lot of people in general can’t figure out how to naturally exude that kind of energy unless they have a partner to help them feel valid and confident.

  30. You have more confidence because you aren’t trying to hit on them. You don’t give a shit if they like you because you’re already in a relationship. You can be engaging while being a little aloof. In my experience, a lot of women eat that up.

  31. Science and evolution. Youre a more attractive male because other females are with you for a reason.

  32. I don’t know it, must be some voodoo shit

    Literally last night in a bar, talking to this girl.

    She just flat out said something along the lines of “would you like to follow me home and have sex with me tonight?”

    It’s a cruel world, when you’re spoken for its just handed to you on a plate but if I was single I would have had to work my ass off to get a girl home

  33. When you’re in a relationship or with another woman, you’re likely acting relaxed and not trying too hard to impress them. That makes you more fun to be around.

  34. Because you are confident, happier and not giving off those insecure vibes you normally give off when you’re desperate to try and meet someone.

  35. Yeah i was with an ex and while with her the girl i’d had a crush on for years while at school came up to me and “confessed” her feelings she had while we were at school. A few weeks later my ex dumped me and about a year later i ran back into my crush who suddenly forgot who i was when i said hello. It was then i realised girls be fucking crazy when you’re unavailable.

  36. I don’t think they are showing more interest. I think it’s more likely men in relationships just never test whether the girl is flirting or just being nice.

  37. Do they explicitly express interest or are they just friendlier? If it is the latter, they are just letting their guard down because you won’t consider their friendliness as an invitation to hit on them.

  38. Are you sure she’s showing interest or just being casual/relaxed now that she knows you’re not looking to get with her (ideally)

  39. Its a safe bet. If you are wanted by other women (youre in a relationship with one), that must mean you have something of value, therefore you are attractive.

  40. it’s called social proof. it’s a evolutionary instinct not only present in women or humans or exclusively about mates.

    if you see two trees with unfamiliar fruit on them, one that’s been picked over alot and one that’s not at all, you can reasonably infer that the picked over one is safe to eat, but you can’t for the one that’s pristine, you could even reasonably infer that it’s not safe to eat.

    evolutionarily, women’s mating aptitude is mostly all out in the open, her youth, her hips, her boobs. but for human males it’s different, 99.999% of the time they can inseminate a woman so that’s irrelevant, male aptitudes are different, but human male aptitudes are more complex than lions, you can’t tell just by looking whether he’ll stick around, or whether he has influence with others. but if he’s attached well he’s at least up to snuff for one other woman, and that’s got to count for something.

  41. you see 2 restaurants

    1 is completely empty

    1 has people inside and they are having a good time

    which one would you rather go to?

  42. Preselection. You’ve unknowingly vetted yourself as an acceptable mate.

  43. It’s a strange phenomenon actually, cuz it happens to married women too.

    I think it’s cuz when you’re married you have ZERO hangups talking to a stranger. You have no agenda, no script, you’re just socializing. So you tend to attract more of the opposite sex cuz you exude confidence and are just generally meeting more people.

    When you’re single you get all tongue tied lol

    Edit: oh, and I think there is something attractive about a good helpful husband or wife.

  44. You aren’t looking, you are your normal self. People like you. Women don’t feel pressed or ‘oolged’ in your company.

  45. Maybe they’re not interested, maybe that’s just what woman are like when they don’t have to worry you’ll misunderstand their friendliness for flirting? Or maybe it’s just human nature to want what what you don’t have (grass is greener and all that).

  46. You are more relaxed.

    You are not showing much interest in them.

    You are apparently in demand.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like