gf got lip fillers and idk how to feel

42 comments

1. Be honest?

2. Google says lip fillers aren’t permanent, they last 6-18 months. If you love her, think of a way to communicate this to her without breaking her heart.

3. I mean if that’s something you’re not attracted to then you can’t control what you’re attracted to. Not saying it’s the girlfriend’s fault, I mean with her mom’s influence and social media influencers these days I’m not surprised, but getting lip fillers at 18 is ridiculous. Did she say she wants to get more procedures done? Like does she want to get Botox too like her mom? Because this can spiral into her getting more procedures done, which in turn will likely not help her feel better about her appearance, especially since she is only 18 and is still maturing/growing into her looks anyway. I would say think about it and figure out if you want to be with someone like this, and if not then it’s best to end it.

4. Bare in mind that if she facetimed you when it was first done it is severely swollen. This will take about two days to go down. So it might not be as bad as you think.

   If this isn’t the case however and it is really an issue, if i could suggest anything i say you just talk to her about it. You can’t control what she does with her body but you can have an opinion. If she doesn’t take head of your opinion then you do what you feel is right king.

5. Tell her you think she is beautiful but that you fell in love with her natural beauty and you feel that’s it’s true and real for you.

6. This doesn’t sound necessarily like a dealbreaker, but it sounds like if not worded correctly it could be. Be very careful how you tell her how you feel. You could tell her that you loved her natural look and that you feel the fillers were unnecessary, but this sounds like something she has been wanting. It may end up that she continues getting them and either A) you will have to break up if you can’t get past it, B) you accept it and let sleeping dogs lie, or C) you talk it out and realize that it isn’t a big deal, and everything goes back to normal.

   There are probably many scenarios I missed that could happen, but at the moment it is all I can think of. Just be careful and don’t hurt her feelings. She seems to have been wanting them for a while by the way you worded your post.

7. I would give it a few more days. The first day lips are swollen so it can look weird. Source: I’ve had lip fillers.

8. Keep in mind that how they look now is not how they will look in 2 weeks. They’ve only just been done so right now they are really swollen and bruised. Once they settle, they should look a lot better and more natural.

   Source: I have been getting lip filler for 10+ years and my mum still doesn’t have a clue. She’d be the first to call me out if she noticed, I just avoid her immediately after they’re done.

9. Why don’t you just honestly tell her that stuff is a turnoff for you? Maybe it will be the wake up call she needs before she gets into it too heavily.

10. How long has it been? If its recent, it’s possible there’s still a lot of swelling.

    I feel she has the right to do whatever she likes with her, but that doesn’t mean youre obligated to like it.

    Maybe being honest while specifying you don’t want to control her decisions can be good chance for communication on this, I don’t think you should pretend to like it if you don’t. You can even just say that it’s a sudden change that’s weirding you out and you need time to get used to it instead of outright saying you think it’s ick

11. It can’t be that bad can it?

12. 100% deal breaker

13. See how she looks in a bit. If she goes down the cosmetics rabbit hole maybe jump ship bc she probably won’t get better unless she gets therapy or something. I’m Def not into the whole plastic and fake look and it’s ok to lose attraction to someone especially if they’re doing an elective procedure.

14. I have know several people who have broken up because of filler.
    They didn’t like the look or the feel of it when they would kiss.

15. Her mother is a botox queen lol

16. Tell her you love when she feels confident about herself but you aren’t attracted to the artificial and it’s a turn off to you.

17. INFO: if she kept saying that it was going to happen, why have you not discussed this beforehand?

    After it’s done, your only options are take it or leave it.

18. Had you ever voiced your dislike of them?

19. She told you it is going to happen and her mother is supportive of it. Why were you just brushing it off? This isn’t an unknown aspect of her. That said like everyone else is pointing out. Immediately after the procedure the lips will be swollen past what they will end up as in a few days. So wait and see what they end up looking like before making a decision. This is going to be a part of her you are going to have to accept if you want to be with her. When someone tells you something believe them. Figure out if you are going to be ok with this part of her or not.

20. She’s only 18?! This breaks me heart. What will she be doing when she’s 40?

21. I’d give it 1-3 months to see if it’s her lifestyle or her values or her appearance you are not attracted to. It’s ok to leave a relationship over this, but please give it some time firstz

22. She’s only 18 and just starting this journey of plastic modifications. By 28, she’ll probably be unrecognizable. Yuck

23. INFO: are you not attracted to how it actually looks or use of fillers itself. As others mentioned, it takes two weeks for filler to settle in. Have an honest conversation with her and if it’s a deal breaker…then move on.

    Give yourself time to adjust noting that it may spiral further for her to have additional procedures

24. Her mom probably is pushing her towards this. Be honest with her and tell her you don’t like it.

25. Lip fillers look so weird and feel even worse. Some people think it’s not obvious, it is though.
    She’s got the absolute right to do it and you’ve got the right to be grossed out by it.

    If it is a deal breaker, just end it and move on.

26. yeah I cant stand the stung by a bee look that would be a deal breaker for me

27. sounds like you’re overreacting

28. People get fillers because of insecurities. Maybe helping her get to the root of it would make her stop, but you have to be considerate for the time being

29. You’re really young… if you’re not attracted to this then move on. Date someone who is more in line with your beliefs. I feel like this is a slippery slope and she will keep getting work down as she age’s. You have decades of dating to do so why not get to know yourself better so you can eventually find a partner that is more in line with what your are looking for.

30. I’ve been doing filler for about seven years. It takes about two weeks before it ‘settles’ and looks more natural. It also is just hyaluronic acid, it’s essentially just water binder. Your body metabolizes it over time. So it will completely go away if she doesn’t get it re-done. That being said, it sounds like you have a way bigger issue. If you guys do not agree on the fact that she has the right to do to her body what she wants to, and that it’s going to impact your attraction then that is probably a sign. It seems weird to say that you love someone so much and you want a life together with them, but something that trivial as a dealbreaker for you.

31. >but now that’s it’s happened it’s kinda a deal breaker.

    1) its her body. not yours. if you go to the gym and work out and get big and she doesnt like it, you would call her crazy. she got a cosmetic procedure done, almost every other woman is doing it now, to us, its like going and getting your nails done or adding extensions. frankly, given all the stuff we get done to ourselves to ‘look attractive and be accepted by society,’ it was only a matter of time before body modifications became the norm and not something out of the ordinary.

    2) if her getting lip fillers of all things, is a deal breaker, then you need to reevaluate why you’re with her. because its clear it’s all about the looks.

    3) she told you she was going to do it, and you brushed it off instead of communicating that its something you’re not comfortable with. maybe she feels insecure? thats where most of these things (not all) come from. did you ever sit down and try building her confidence back up? maybe she genuinely feels more attractive and is happier. you care more about how you feel after she has had work done, than how she feels. and that speaks volumes.

32. Honestly, I have lip fillers and it boosted my confidence so much. I smile and laugh and don’t think about it anymore. Everyone in these comments acts like lip fillers is the gateway for BBLs and that’s just not true. They stay swollen a few days and they will likely start to look much more natural.

33. Just be honest with her. You’re not unreasonable for having these feelings

34. Depends what she uses those lips for. You may enjoy it in other ways lol

35. It shocks me a bit when people get surgery or fillers when they turn 18, too many beauty standards nowadays. Like other people said though they should go down however if you don’t like the look or feel still then it’s gonna be a dealbreaker

36. She’s going to have to do it periodically for touch ups. This will be an additional expense and will most likely be a part of her identity (like mom like daughter). If it’s a dealbreaker, then you know this is over for you.

37. yeah dude give her a few days, then go ahead an kiss those bad boys. Feels like your lips are having sex with pillows. I’m now pro lip filler. Kissing is awesome with those upgrades

38. You can’t control what you’re attracted to but if y’all are 18 and planning your life together but lip filler is what makes or breaks it maybe like… give it time

39. I agree that it does look repellant.

    Personally I’d be quiet worried at the potential for body dysmorphia.

40. I really dont understand this craze at all, never seen lip fillers that look good. Its so weird to do that to yourself

41. tbh, she deserves better. she’s always been open about wanting to do it and then did it. i doubt your love’s that deep if something like that basically cancels out all attraction. imagine if she gained weight ten years from now or, god forbid, got ill and lost her hair and pretty skin.

42. Give it a few days. I can barely tell I have them. It just prevents my gums from showing when I smile (on my upper lip). I had my mom look at me about a week after and see if she could tell me if anything was different about my face and she never could. My dad and brother still haven’t said anything which means they haven’t noticed cause my dad always comments when I dye my hair or get a tattoo.