I love my girlfriend to death and would do anything for her. But she has some unresolved trauma and poor home life. She try’s to not let it get to her but she has her days where it does. I HATE seeing her like this and she’ll cry and tell me how she feels and it just destroys me. I keep on asking for her to get therapy but she constantly refuses. I tell her I would pay for it and she can pick the therapist but it’s to no avail. I’ve recently tried to get her to talk to one of my family members whose be the tough similar things but she still refuses. She tells me how she’d rather just not talk about it and forget it. I understands why she’d just try to forget it because it make her upset and said every time she did. But I the fact that she does have her days where it emotionally destroys her shows me that it does bother her even when she says it doesn’t. I think she gaslights herself into acting like it’s nothing but it is. I would really love for her to talk to professionals about this trauma or at least someone much older who has gone through similar things to give her a much better advice on everything but she refuses every time. She does have random days where she’ll agree but than later say she just rather not talk about it. I try so hard to get her mental help but I feel like I just annoy her or make her feel worse about it when I’m really trying to the opposite. I try to give her some advice or insight on to things that I feel I could give good insight on. Others I just listen since I don’t think it’s my place to tell her anything about cause it didn’t happen to me and I don’t know how it feels. Every time I try to give my insight or ask her to get help she denies me. I just feel like I’m nagging her and it bothers me to the point of stomach getting tight. It makes me upset when she does to the point where I just don’t talk cause I feel useless. Like I’ll get quiet for a little after the convo because of the feeling I get in my stomach like I just want to end the convo. And I feel like a piece of shit every time. Cause I know I should still want to be there helping her through but I get frustrated when every attempt to help is denied. Like Im going out my way to ask her what’s wrong so it’s not like she just dumps it out of nowhere, but I can’t sit there or be on the phone with her crying Yk I want to make happy. Every time it makes me feel like I’m not doing enough for her yk. I love this girl so much and just seeing her cry alone just makes me want to cry with her. I wish I just knew what to say to make her feel better and help her get through this but I just feel useless in these kind of situations. There’s got to be a way for me to get her to get help but I just feel like I’m not good enough to know how. I just need advice on what to do and why do I get so upset when she refuses me or gets upset for me speaking on the matter to the point that I don’t want to talk. Any advice on how to get over that feeling all together.
TL;DR
My girlfriend has some unresolved trauma and has days where it really gets to her. I don’t like seeing her crying so I talk to her and try to get her to get help. I have offered to pay for this help but and refused everytime. It bothers me a lot to the point when I don’t even what to talk anymore because it feels useless/or like I’m just bother her. I just need advice on what to do and why do I get so upset when she refuses me or gets upset for me speaking on the matter to the point that I don’t want to talk. Any advice on how to get over that feeling all together.