I'm really starting to get fed up with this. Almost every time we have an argument about the smallest things, it just keeps spiraling. It often starts with her being upset about something. We argue, and then she becomes sad and complains that my tone was mean, that she doesn't want things to end this way, and that I should cheer her up because "that's just how it should be."
I've told her multiple times that after an argument, I’m still upset and shaken, and I really don't feel like cuddling and pretending everything is awesome right away. She just doesn't accept that, and it always leads to the same argument: that I don't love her enough and that if I cared about her, I would cheer her up. It's so frustrating.
Yesterday, she asked me to take the dog out when I went to bed. I didn’t do it right away because he was deep asleep, but an hour later, when he needed to go potty, I took him out. She woke up and got upset that I didn’t take him out when I first came to bed. Fine, small thing. No big deal in my eyes. I explained myself, said I'd do it next time as she wanted, and apologized. I was annoyed that she made it into an argument over something so small, but whatever.
The argument that followed about how she couldn't sleep now and how I should cheer her up took 40 minutes, keeping both of us from getting any sleep for no reason. This keeps happening, and I don’t know how to handle it anymore because I really don’t want to pretend I’m not upset. After arguments, I feel like we’re okay — I’m still upset, but it’s nothing that won’t go away if I’m left alone for a while. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m already annoyed when she’s upset about something because it almost always ends in this argument, no matter what I do. I’ve tried staying calm and doing everything she wants, but even if I cuddle up to her, it’s not good enough because "I don’t mean it."
TL;DR: Every argument with my GF ends with her wanting me to cheer her up, which is hard for me to do and feels unfair.