I am a 54 year old divorced man who was married for 24 years and four kids. The last 3 and a half years I have been trying this dating thing.
Lately started dating a pretty woman who is 48, intelligent, successful lawyer and by all accounts a very nice, loving person. We have great talks and a lot in common.
However, she is really into sex. She has extensive sexual experience and the sex is really great. Getting her to leave the bedroom and do something else is not easy. Some people would say "quit complaining!", but I'm looking long term and there is an underlying "don't leave me" vibe. When I know that she wants to get together for just that reason, I've been saying no.
She also seems very unoffendable, but very emotional. A couple times I left she got upset and cried. I don't understand this behavior. She seems to fall in love easily and has been married 3 times! The last marriage due to her infidelity ended 10 years ago, but 2 months after that divorce the ex-husband killed himself.
There is a history of trauma and I'm trying to be sensitive to that.
I don't want to break up with her ( and not because of the sex, seriously), but she checks a lot of boxes as a long term partner.
My questions are..
1. When this neediness shows it's ugly side how should I react?
2. How can she be so great with other aspects of her life, but still think at her age thst sex is all she has to offer?
3. I smoke cigarettes off and on, and I told her I want to quit. She agrees, but then says I can have a post-coital cigarette. What gives?
4. She says all the right things about working on being needy and smothering, but actions don't match her words.Can she truly beat this? Should I give this a chance or cut my losses?
5. I'm also worried about getting into an argument with her as I think she would really overreact. Should I try and make her mad on purpose to see what I'm dealing with? Joking..not joking.
Any help would be VERY appreciated!