It’s not that I don’t have friends or anything, I do, and quite a large variety of them. But for some reason not a single one of them will ever initiate a plan or invite me somewhere. I will always be the one making the plans.
What worse is that it has been like this for literally my whole life, I cannot remember the last time a friend, even one of my closest friends i ever had (no longer friends), asked me to hang out or go to their house or meet up in general. It really just sucks because it makes me feel so unwanted. It also makes me feel so needy or as if I’m doing something wrong or not acting in my best interest every time that I want to see my friends and initiate a plan when really I just want to socialise. Which obviously isn’t a bad thing.
On top of that almost none of my friends ever initiate a conversation online, it’s always me. Although very similar story to the one above although in the past two weeks two of my closer friends have started sending me videos and texting me often which makes me so happy but it has taken SOOO long for me to find people that will initiate conversations with me outside of school.
For reference I am 17M and for some reason I have mainly had female friends my whole life but the issue is the same even with my male friends, regardless of their sexuality or rather how open they were to me being friends with pretty much majority girls. I also recently found out that I am autistic but I have also been masking for my whole life so take that into account I guess.
What can I do to change this in the future and is there a specific reason as to why I form or attract friendships of this type.