I dont know what I'm doing to cause this really, and it's been a thing my whole life. I've always been an outcast. I never related to "normal" people. This has been the case in every social situation but I guess it's more noticable at family functions which is why I'm writing this. I'm not very close with any of my cousins, but we know who we are, yknow? Yet I'm always avoided at get-togethers or weddings. Everyone that's close to my age avoids eye contact with me, and when they talk to me it's like they pity me or something, I hate it. I can tell that they fake laugh at my jokes, I notice when they're scanning around looking for a way out of the conversation.
It's really frustrating. Even if I'm feeling confident and I'm being smooth/genuine, most of my family treat me like an other. I realized THEY make it just as awkward for me since they put me in the "weirdo/loser" box. I have to watch them be uncomfortable when I try to ask what they've been up to with their lives. And they unenthusiastically carry the conversation. So I'm thinking "what am I doing to make them act like this?" while trying to be unbothered and not make my part of the conversation even more awkward. Yet I know I will get all the blame because I'm the weird one. Ugh.