My girlfriend and I are both in our late 20’s and have been together for over five years. We have explored BDSM and have had a few experiences of MMF and FFM scenes.
I am typically D & S with me being the top and her the bottom. She is sometimes bratty, but it all felt a little stale after a while and as if we were just “playing house” in all of our scenes.
We both decided to spice things up and bring in another dominant top/bull. We talked about what we wanted and our expectations. We both agreed we wanted him to be older, physically large, and endowed, but did not want any humiliation or cuckold stuff. It would be a double team of he and myself to tame her.
After tons of fakes and flakes we found an older guy who fit the bill talked online and in person, very nice and chill guy. We set up a meeting and things went much different than we both expected.
After a little bit of foreplay a switch flipped in the room and he just took charge. I never considered myself bisexual but his hypermasculinity in terms of physical size, strength and cock size really excited me it was very intense. I had a huge realization that I was not a dom/top/bull or any of that I thought I was watching him fuck her, but I was really ok and excited by it and not upset.
It was clear in the moment my girlfriend was loving it and in our aftercare we both checked in and felt good. Though I find whenever I try to do a scene with her I feel like a phony and she and I are just acting and not enjoying it. She says things are different but she would still like me to try because she likes being with me.
I do not feel like I am up to the task for myself or her, how do I go forward without destroying our relationship?
It has always changed how I view my own sexual orientation. I would not say I would want physical sex with him or man like that but his hypermasculinity excited me. Not sure what the term for that is?