No, I don’t want you to be dating other people, especially if we’ve hung out a couple of times, had a great time, had long phone conversations while you were out with Covid, and we have mutual friends who “approve”.

I don’t want to go on a date with you thinking I have to bring my A game, and be prettier, funnier, talk just the right amount, and laugh at your jokes and hope I’m better than the last one you had a second date with last night.

I don’t want to play stupid games to try and be the last one in the arena having successfully fought for your attention.

I want to go out with you, be myself, and not wonder if those dings from your phone are your kids or your next date. I don’t want to feel awkward texting or calling you because you’re maybe on a date. I want you to be present with me, and not holding back because you kissed that other girl last night. I want you tell the story and not pause because you can’t remember if you already told me, or was that someone else?

The going on lots of dates thing doesn’t work for me. And why is it that when I’m open and honest and say that, you disappear? Is it because you were stringing me along, or do you prefer to think you’ve got 5 girls vying for your affection?

I’m done.

7 comments

  1. Saying you don’t want to date someone who is dating other people is a big no now!
    People get so riled up about it too “how dare you assume you’re the only one he’s dating”
    It’s just the “new normal”
    It’s constant competition.
    Get some cats. Be happy

  2. Sorry to hear your dating experience hasn’t been all that great. As a guy I can hopefully give you a perspective on why we do it. We don’t get many matches to begin with, and fewer dates still. Then you have the fact every first date could also be the last, so if we run hot, and get a few more than expected we try them all at once in case one falls through we aren’t alone in a dry spell for months again. I personally don’t do it, but that’s usually the reasoning. Where a girl only had to right swipe maybe 5 times at most to find the next match, a guy had to right swipe endlessly, and even then we might not get anything for weeks to months. Keep trying though. You can’t have a run of bad luck that lasts forever.

  3. My advice here is to stop complaining about how dating works and embrace the reality of how it works.

    Of course no one is going to be interested in you if you’re not putting effort into being interesting.

    Of course you have to earn the attention of the person you’re dating. In what universe would that not be true? Why do they owe you anything?

    Water is wet, stop complaining about that fact and learn how to swim.

  4. Rlly getting sick and tired of all these people complaining about dating. We all do this.

  5. I agree 100% and it’s easy to enforce a boundary of no multiple date partners.

    I tell my dates, if you want to date others, have at it, I’m out.

    No judgement but that’s not for me, I believe it takes all your bandwidth to explore each other for a serious relationship (if that’s your goal).

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