You lost trust in your spouse which involves them communicating with other people in a sexual manner. You want to check their phone activity whenever you see fit. Do you demand that they allow you to look? Do you look anyway if they say no?

4 comments

  1. Absolute transparency with their technology is 100% a boundary you are entitled to put into place as the Betrayed Spouse. The Wayward Spouse’s refusal is their right, but it is not conducive to reconciliation and building back trust. It’s part of the commitment to total honesty the WS needs to be willing to make if they want to salvage the relationship.

  3. You are probably experiencing betrayal trauma. I did the same thing when my spouse was being secretive with their devices. I looked even tho he didn’t want me to but it was the only way for me to get the information I needed to decide if I want to stay in this relationship or not. We are in marriage counseling now and trying to save our 18 year marriage. Not all counselors are the same. We are on our second counselor who is working for us. We didn’t like the 1st one we went to. I would also recommend the podcast beyond bitchy. It’s about boundaries. I have found it very helpful. You need to take care of yourself right now and figure out what you want. Good luck!

  4. If I get one ounce of resistance to transparency we are heading to a lawyer. Probably would divorce the cheater anyway.

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