I (18F) have always been what someone would call a “hopeless romantic.” I love love. I fantasize about all that shit but whenever someone shows me that kind of stuff or things get romantic I start freaking out and feeling weird about it. I will like someone so much and I will want it to progress further but when it does I almost always start feeling weird about it. The two guys i’ve really really liked in that way, when the talking stage finally starts heading in a more romantic direction, I almost start grossing myself out? Like it makes me so incredibly anxious but in a way where i’m disgusted or uneasy at the thought of it going somewhere more serious. I don’t think I have commitment issues or anything like that. I feel awful about this. Anyone have any idea why i’m like this?
TL;DR – Whenever I get close to being in a relationship with someone I start feeling weird about it. Any idea why i’m like this?
4 comments
[deleted]
Sounds like you love love so much you worry about how it could go downhill and sideways. To love is a process and a journey, not a product or a destination. If you can’t enjoy arriving at it, you won’t enjoy being in it.
You are just not ready yet. You don’t have to just jump into a relationship. Wait until you are ready tor one. Let them know about yourself and have then decide if they are okay with long term dating. It isn’t for everyone but if you are not ready then you are not ready.
Unattainable crushes are a crutch that keep you from being rejected, which is the price of admission for dating. Dating is scary because it involves vulnerability and honesty – it’s easier not to date. So it’s easier for you to just avoid it, using whatever mental workarounds you need to. But I’d suggest that you push through your anxiety and try to date in earnest.