I met him at school as usual. We seemed happy to see each other. Or maybe it’s just me. Who knows. All I know is that he can be my companion and I can be his. I am never certain if I am good to him. We talked about stuff and everything, including his girlfriend. I can see now how much he thinks of his girlfriend. I am happy for him. But, at the same time, I am also sad. Sometimes he told me not to talk about her. But he always is excited to tell me about her. It breaks my heart. Maybe because I am jealous. Definitely. But I am also happy for him. Suddenly he asked me where am I going to change to next year. I said why? Because he is the one changing and leaving me behind. I confronted him that I would feel very lonely without him. One replied from him and I shut down completely. ” Ain’t my problem ” he said. This is the reason why I never felt cared about and I had to be strong until he played with me before and asked me to date. Was it real? Was it because he didn’t want to lose me? Was it because he just wanted to feel loved but loving for me too? I don’t know. All I know is that after he asked me out I felt alive and I accepted him but only to ask him to break up because he was just as harsh as before. I am defeated every time he says ” Ain’t my problem “. I kept strong because I didn’t want to fight with him. Anyways, we are sometimes touchy. He likes to touch my head and my face, he likes to hug, he sometimes touch my private part too. I also like the same but I usually love to touch his upper legs. Today, I was touching his leg a little upper from the knee. He immediately stopped me, threatened me that he’d walk away. I am once again defeated. This isn’t fair to me. My heart immediately broke into pieces. What’s is wrong again? I don’t know. I’m close to certain that he doesn’t feel the same way? But why doesn’t he keep being close to me? Touch me ? Why? I can’t even touch him now. I couldn’t be more dead. I am frustrated to get killed and revived back by him just to be killed by him again. Maybe it’s best if I remain dead to him. It’s been almost a year that I carry this pain almost everyday.
2 comments
May I ask how old you are? And how old he is?
This complete mental manipulation and abuse. You need to separate yourself from this person immediately.
I was in a similar but not identical situation a few months ago. you’re better off without him. are you going to be apart this summer? if so, use that time to take a step back and in a few months you’ll see that he is being immature and not considering your feelings and needs in all of this. don’t make yourself the other woman for him. he’s not worth it.