***Quick Story:*** *We met on a bus stop near the start of the month and then I got impatient and asked her out after 2/3 weeks* *. She said she was going to ask me out anyways at the end of the school year which made me think that things were going to turn out well. Alas, after the date, she would rarely ever reply to my txts and just today I got her to say the truth so that I could confirm my suspicions. She said that she no longer had any romantic interest in me after the date but I’d be fine as a friend. This did make me sad because, already, I had found myself feeling incredibly attached to this little mademoiselle.*
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hahaha, Ngl, horrifically suave of me getting friend zoned, aye?
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My question is: How do I move on? She didn’t even give me a reason; I don’t feel that I did anything wrong.
11 comments
Dude, let it go. It can be literally anything. Most likely, it’s her having tons of options.
Do you know how to breathe? Kind of like that since it was only one date.
Girls lose interest usually because the date ended up being dry and she didn’t feel anything emotionally. She might not even be able to consciously put her finger on it, but this is what happens.
Sadly the only way this girl will change her mind about you is seeing you with another girl, then she ll be thinking maybe she misjudged you, but by that point you should have moved on with the new girl anyway.
Next time try to be more authentically yourself and have fun with the girl you go out with.
You didn’t “get friendzoned”
You met a girl who you found attractive. She found you sufficiently attractive to go on a date with you.
The sole purpose of a first date is to decide whether or not you want a second date. She decided she did not.
That could be for many reasons, some of which you may have the ability to do something about. Maybe you reminded her of her cousin or her brother and it all felt to “sweet home Alabama”
Or maybe you talked to much about yourself and didn’t show enough interest in her.
There is no guarantee that you will go further than a first date with any woman. However, you can work to improve yourself to increase the probability.
Its possible there was nothing every remotely romantic between her and these guy friends. Most women don’t friendzone men with the intent to “play” with them, instead they just want to be friends. The fact you talk like this gives me a really good idea why she rejected you.
Also its very clear you were needy and approval seeking toward her on the date and maybe even worshipped her a bit. Thats a very big turnoff right there.
She wasn’t into you. Let it go.
Sometimes there is no specific reason why people lose interest. It always helps me to think about how I friendzoned people, then I realize, I didn’t do it for a particular reason or because they weren’t attracive or something. Feeling change al the time…
Focus on yourself, love yourself and evetually someone will fall for you!
First dates are just like job interviews… Don’t take it as a personal insult if you don’t get the job.
Let’s change the perspective here.
You got a date with a girl. Congratulate yourself. Ok, it didn’t work out. That’s a pity but another date is right around the corner. This date has given you some experience and will help you do a bit better on your next date. For example, you may feel less nervous the next time because you know the drill now. Don’t get hang up over that girl. You did your best. If you keep thinking that you made mistakes you are only decreasing your level of confidence. Now is a moment to say: ok, maybe I did make a mistake (or not) (and it doesn’t matter if you did). What matters is that you learnt a lesson.
This is not personal. There could be so many reasons why she doesn’t want a second date. There will be more opportunities. One girl is not the end of the world. The next girl may be so into you that she does want a second date, and a third, and a fourth. You never know. One girl is not enough to make a definitive judgment on your level of attractiveness or whatever.
Maybe you came off as too keen or socially awkward?
Don’t go in all guns blazing. Women like a bit of mystery – if you lay out all your cards on the table and do all the chasing, then it’s a turn off for them. She has know that you have options and you can easily do the selecting, as much as her.
I don’t care if I get flamed for this but the best thing you can do, is learn some game, improve yourself (mentally, physically and socially) and read up on inter-gender dynamics.
Figure out what you did wrong and fix it for next time