Hi, I’m a rising senior at college and major in IT. I used to be involved in fraternity/party stuff a lot when I first enrolled in college. It somewhat helped me become confident as an introvert. It was until a certain stage of my life when I got fed up of being hung over/knowing people’s dramas/etc. I started to pay more attention to school, career. I spent more time finding jobs, doing well at school, gym, and had quality time with people closest to me like my girlfriend, family, and 1-2 close friends. As the result, at the end of the year, I was the only one in my social group who got a good job that I love with high pay while some of them had to live with their parents until they can find something.
On the other hands, people stopped inviting me to stuff because I don’t spend enough time with them. I don’t feel like the cool kid who knows everything and everyone like I used to be in freshman year. I feel like at my graduation, only a few closest friends would come to see me. What troubles me is the mindset that “you only live college once; people will be gone and you will miss out a lot”. I couldn’t do it because I don’t have all the time and energy for everything and everyone.
Maybe that’s a part of growing-up. Maybe not. I need your advice. If you have similar experience, feel free to share it too. I would love to know how it turns out for you. Thank you for reading.
2 comments
I know people who don’t generally go to parties, and in general they are doing well academically, got a good job, and have many friends.
So definitely a no.
No. You do you. You’re only accountable to yourself.
I’m going to summarise my understanding of your post. There’s a reason you stopped the party lifestyle and that’s because you prioritised something else more valuable to you. (Your degree). And now you’re wondering if you made a mistake in doing so as the cost of your degree was less popularity.
Imo, the social value of being the cool kid expires as soon as you leave the university. When you start with your employer, those credits won’t transfer, because they either won’t know or won’t care you were the heart and soul of the party. Your degree will matter more and that’s what’s got you the job you love. So no, I don’t think you did miss out.
I fucked up university royally because I spent too much time partying and not enough studying. Thankfully once it was all said and done I found my vocation (which thankfully didn’t need a degree!)
Now I’ve settled into my professional life, I’m still going out and drinking and having fun. Perhaps not as heavily as I was at university, but that might be no bad thing. In other words once you’ve got the degree you can always go back to this.