Hello, all. I am not necessarily looking for advice per say but advice is welcome. I would like to just get this out because it’s been driving my husband and me nuts.

So we have two friends whom we grew up with and they are dating. They recently moved to our town and we have so much fun with them and truly think of them as family. We are excited to be in the same town as we had all moved away from home years back and have been opposite sides of the country.

Anyways, my husband and me are a little more responsible with pretty much every aspect of life. I don’t particularly care how other people live their lives but they are CONSTANTLY trying to compete with us and judge us. Quick background: they live well beyond their means and are tens and thousands of dollars in credit card debt. They don’t pay on their school loans because they’re waiting for them to get waived. They aren’t even trying to buy a house anymore because it’s too difficult. They spends 100s a month just on craft beer. My husband and me are pretty opposite, we are on our second home and if we can’t pay for it we don’t charge it to a card, we just don’t buy it or take that vacation. We don’t live pay check to pay check and we don’t particularly care for craft beer so we dont go to breweries often. We still have fun but fun to us is hiking, camping, going to normal priced restaurants not just instagram cute restaurants, off roading, etc. Their idea of fun is similar but also lavish, if that makes sense. Its really simple vs complicated and we like simplicity but we are also not boring or miserable people. We are who we are, we grew up where we grew up, we like what we like and we are ok with this. They, however, are constantly trying to be something they are not.

Ok, so the problem is if we don’t want to spend money on something they call us cheap. If we don’t want to do something they call us old / grumpy. She is constantly calling my husband an “old man” because he complains when we are out with him. I definitely agree he is a bit much but the truth is he doesn’t like her, he doesn’t want to be around her because she is so fake. Her BF, Frank, and my SO are best friends and he enjoys being around him so that is why we all hang out. But she, we will call her Sally, is always judging or being rude. Sally also controls Frank to the point of him not even being himself anymore. The man is almost 30 and he has a curfew. He isn’t allowed to do much and Sally has dragged him so far into debt he has to work instacart after work just to afford stuff, its actually quite sad really. The “competing” has gotten out of control as well. We are planning on getting an off road toy and they went out and bought a brand new truck (off road tacoma) even though they can’t even afford to pay off a credit card lol like none of what they do makes sense to anyone except themselves. They also cannot afford the gas for this truck either. Sally has gotten fake boobs, botox every six months, and more but yet wont pay her debts that she has accrued for living beyond her means. Then, she goes as far as to say my husband and I are “lucky” and “fortunate” we don’t live pay check to paycheck. Its actually quite absurd because my husband and I have had NO help from anyone. I’ve worked since I was 14 and my husband 16. Meanwhile, Frank has had his mom give him thousands of dollars a month for 4 years so he could finish school. Franks mom will also send him money still if he cant pay for something and can’t make enough from instacart. But she calls us fortunate lol my husband works a lot and she has gone on to say how she would never want to be us because of how much my husband is gone from home. But yet she wants to be them, barely keeping afloat and digging themselves a deeper hole.

I wouldn’t typically find this to be annoying because it’s not my problem but it is the fact that she constantly complains about their situation and the fact that they will probably be renting forever. Or the fact that Frank never has any money. The annoyance comes from them not realizing that they have literally created this themselves, sit here and call everyone else lucky but have no will to fix or work on the problem they’ve created. So, I’ve tried consoling and giving advice in which she never listens to. They also come over with their dogs and one of their dogs always goes after my one dog in which they always shrug off and say “oh she’s crusty” “oh she was homeless, I can’t fix her” “oh she’s playing”. I don’t give a f, a misbehaved dog – especially when going after another d0g – is not ok. Train your dog or leave your dog home. It’s funny too because that dog doesn’t act like that when they are not around.

Also, she is constantly trying to do stuff like weekend getaways and boat trips or rzr rentals but I feel like I’m the one always booking the stuff. Along with booking stuff means my credit card is on file for the deposit. If they ever do anything they can’t pay for anything so I feel super uncomfortable so I avoid doing that with them now too. Its tough because since we’ve moved here, it has been difficult making friends who are into the same things, our age and without kids. I want friendships of course but not sure I can continue to be friends with such entitled and judgy people. Also, they live 2 min away so it’s so easy for them to drop by etc. It’s not a friendship I want to end but sheesh I don’t know how much longer I can be around them.

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TL;DR our best friends are rude, judgemental, always trying to compete with us and fake. They recently moved to the town we live in and are our only couple friends at the moment.

6 comments
  1. I stopped reading when you listed all of the insults she slings at you two. It’s ok to not be friends or social with her. The guys can still do guy things without you two ladies, or you could go out without her.

  2. Your entire post reeks of your (probably understandable) derision for Sally. And by extension, Frank. So, what’s the point of being friends with a couple that you look so down upon in values and finances?

    At the very least, grow some items and tell them to LEAVE THEIR DOGS HOME.

  3. you just sound like you all hate one another lol. why even bother with this drama at that age?

  4. You‘re judging them for their lifestyle and get upset when they judge you for your lifestyle? Do you even *like* each other?

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