My boyfriend has been sick for 2 years. Test after test. Specialist after specialist nothing. Test come back normal. But he insists something wrong. Rare disease or cancer. He says. He’s in pain daily can’t get out of bed. I stepped up. Help with his boys he has full custody of. Home schooled. Got their special meal because both have sensory issues. Started doing my bf job. He resells electronics. So we can have money coming. His family no longer speaks to him because if you tell him something about his health he tells them you don’t anything or you don’t care. And he went off on his family telling them horrible things.
Yes I get frustrated with everything I do for him. But I do it. Not mention I lost my daughter in 2020. Never dealt with the grief because I’m caring for him and keeping the house together. He went through my Facebook and got mad I comment on a post about the recent tragedies of the mass shooting and how I’m sorry to all the parents to lost a child because I know what it’s like. Basically said I’m seeking attention from others. And said I need to follow his roles no more social media and he will monitor what I wear. I told I can’t do this anymore I try but you make everything about you. So I left to my dads with no belongings because he was telling horrible things bringing up my last suicide attempt. I don’t need triggers so left.
Now he’s telling me I’m evil selfish to leave a sick man and special needs children. I’m going to burn in hell. Just horrible things.
I know he’s sick but am I evil for leaving?
30 comments
jesus christ. it’s a good thing you got out when you did. this was about to turn really bad really fast
You deserve better so do them boys you know who to call if they are going to be in that kind of spot
You should’ve left a long time ago. Good for you for leaving! What a useless garbage human being he is.
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BTW, block him, you have no use for his continued abuse. Your mood and life will improve quickly, the moment you know that you’ll never have to hear him whine again.
I hope you do find better there’s no room for that in this life
Sounds like he may have bpd. of course I’m no psychologist but i have a mom with that diagnosis. Or possibly depression. Either way it’s hard for you to live like that. You definitely need a break
Absolutely not. Leaving was the best thing you could have done. He sounds terrible, not to mention caring for a sick partner is not easy. He makes it worse with his terrible personality. And you need to take care of yourself and you deserve so much better than him
I would have left ages ago. Why home schooled? The few hours of peace and they’re homeschooled? Something very off about him. Undefined illness? Red flag. Homeschool? Red flag. Facebook evesdropping? Red flag. Talking behind your back? Red flag. Controlling? Red flag.
Go back for your stuff, it’s a free country you deserve your own property.
He’s not sick.
Holy crap! You’re NOT evil!
You seem like a nice person who got fooled by a gaslighting a-hole. It happens to the best of us.
Please block him on everything and start fresh with someone who isn’t so controlling and awful.
Be kind to yourself.
Run, run far far away from that toxic, abusing, controlling asshole. You have NO obligation to him or his kids. He’s using and exploiting you. You did the right thing, please do not ever even consider going back to that.
I’ve been sick my entire marriage (21 years) guess what? I work and clean and don’t treat my spouse bad. My condition is also unknown. I get it. It sucks not feeling good. I’m in tears every day hoping today will be a good day where I can move around without wanting to keel over
Guess what? I don’t act like your partner. He needs to buck up
Please kick him in his ass as you walk out the door. What a jerk.
I’d say he’s a hypochondriac
((HUGS)) Sweetie, sorry for your loss!!
BF was mean and verbally abusive!! Glad you are at dad’s and safe/!!
Have dad go get your things!!
ExBF can hire someone to put up with his crap and pain!!
Don’t go back. You’re out now.
No.
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You did the right thing. Now stay away and grieve your daughter, heal as far as you can and leave that attention seeker to feel sorry for himself. He sound emotionally abusive.
Wow, deep down he knows what he said is wrong, anyone who purposely says something in spite loses all integrity in their self when they sober back up.
You’re not evil, he’s literally treating you like some object, this is not a relationship.
It sounds like he is using you. You didn’t do anything wrong
I’ve been disabled since infancy and have a number of chronic illnesses. Being disabled doesn’t mean it’s ok to be a controlling jerk who intentionally triggers my SO, shames her for her own struggles, and won’t even be there to let her grieve.
I’m glad you got out. You are not at all evil for leaving someone who is actively destroying your mental health. You did the right thing. You deserve love, support, and acceptance.
Jesus H Christ! You’ve taken care of this selfish arsehole, looked after his kids and this is how he treats you? Girl, you are NOT in the wrong here. He sounds like an utter prick TBH. Do not go back to him – he’s an abusive, selfish, bullying man-baby. Get some friends to help you move your stuff out and leave him to deal with his own issues. His kids are his responsibility, NOT YOURS. His family can help him, or not, but his problems are his alone.
It sounds like you should’ve left a very long time ago
No you’re not evil.
But just don’t go back there. EVER.
He sounds like a jerk, honestly.
His wellness is not your responsibility. Ask your friends to pick up your stuff and leave him behind. He is using you because you are comfortable and barely complain. Something tells me his “illness” will disappear the moment he realizes you are not coming back.
I would’ve just dumped as soon as I heard a cough. You did the right thing.
Wow. He’s sick, but not in the way he’s probably pretending. Glad you escaped. So NTA. He sure bit (and abused) the hand!
I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how anyone could berate you for expressing your sympathies to the parents of the victims. Rest assured that you are not evil. Please be safe and stay away from him. Have a plan, get your things, break your ties, and do not look back! I’ve been there, too many times. I just wish I’d gotten out sooner. Sending you strength!
You’re not evil, and please don’t go back to this man. Block him and start fresh! You will feel a million times better.
He’s not sick. Not in the way you think. You need to protect yourself from this shit.