TL;DR: Came very close to do it but didn’t on our date not sure where to go from here
So I 20f went on a second date with someone 28m. Started making out and it’s all good. Before this he tells me he doesn’t really notice the age difference and I seem older then my age which doesn’t bother me as most people have said this to me throughout my life.
Go to the bedroom and get fully undressed. Almost start doing it.! Then he just stops kind of out of know wherever. Then gives no real reason as to why. Its awkward afterwards and he hand me back a singular sock. He got dressed faster than me and left the room. I finish getting dressed and just leave almost crying. Which has left me so confused by the whole interaction. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have some secret girlfriend. But my mind Is racing. This only happened last night. Why did this happen? What was his reasoning for doing this? Should I say something to him?
P.s I missed the kid laroi for this date
15 comments
Maybe he realized you’re too young for him.
Maybe it’s because you keep calling it the nasty.
If you want to ask him then ask him but why he confrontational?
That would be confusing for sure. But hopefully you can give him some time to explain, sometimes it may be an insecurity on his end. Guys also have hang ups. Perhaps if you want this to continue, approach him in a kind way.
ive been in his shoes and the reason i did it was i wanted to remain respectful of her as the person i am interested in and not have her feel like all i wanted was a fun night.
Maybe he had whisky dick?
Confront seems like a very strong word, but you can have a conversation with him. I don’t think there is any specific reason here you should be offended, people are complicated and we don’t know what was up.
If you can’t just ask someone, “Hey, what’s going on? Is something wrong?” then you’re not mature enough to be having sex with them.
Okay he probably got anxious that you’re gonna go this far w him without clear intentions, give the guy a break. He sounds nice.
You don’t need to confront him about it, you attempt to have a conversation with him and ask what was wrong or why he didn’t want to have sex with you but don’t be confrontational about it and he doesn’t necessarily have to give you an answer.
It’s only your second date, maybe he felt it was moving too fast, there’s multiple factors that can lead to someone not wanting to have sex in the moment. It doesn’t necessarily have to do with you
Also, ‘did the nasty’ sounds immature, calling it sex is just fine
people are allowed to change their minds
„I don‘t notice the age difference“ or „you‘re so mature for your age“ = „I‘m emotionally immature and kinda creepy“
How are we supposed to know what happened? Ask him.
Maybe hanging out with you was okay but realizing that he’s about to have sex with such a young person compared to his normal age group, made him freak out.
Anyway you were about to exchange bodily fluids with him so it should be okay for you to have this talk with him as well
He forgot to bring condoms?
I’ve done that a couple of times. Ultimately, I felt in my gut that I would regret sleeping with those girls even though I didn’t know why (and honestly I’ve only later regretted that I *didn’t* sleep with them); it’s just a feeling that comes out of nowhere. One reason could be that I’m still hung up on my ex (even though it’s been over a year since I dumped her), and the prospect of having sex with other girls sometimes just overwhelms me in the moment.
I don’t just rush them out though. I make something up, like I’m out of condoms or some other valid excuse, since I don’t want them to overthink it. I have a rule for myself that, when it comes to sex, I will stop the moment something doesn’t feel right, the same way I’d stop instantly if the girl weren’t having a good time/seemed uncertain. Sex, for me, is incredibly emotionally charged and intimate, and having had sex I’ve severely regretted in the past, I absolutely do not want to make such a mistake again.
A lot of things might inform this. Maybe he wasn’t as cool with your age as he insisted, maybe he has a problem getting hardons. Maybe he remembered he left the stove on. In the end all you can do is ask and see what he has to say and go from there.
The fact you missed something important isn’t really a factor unless he knew and hates Kid Laroi or something. I must admit it strikes me odd you prioritised the date over a concert you seem to have wanted to go to.