what do you think about marriage proposal in “public” ? do you expect or hope it might happen ?

33 comments

  1. If by public you mean in front of and obvious to a large crowd of people, I feel horribly about it. That’s my nightmare, lol. If technically in a public space but with some privacy, that’s fine. My ideal proposal is a private one. It can be in a public space, but I’d prefer it to be intimate.

  2. I would be LIVID and would immediately say no simply because it’s in public.

  4. You HAVE to talk about it with your partner first otherwise it can be horrible for everyone involved.

  5. Would never want one personally because I’d like it to be an intimate moment.

    I also generally don’t like them because it can pressure someone into saying yes when they’re not ready.

  6. Is the recipient extroverted or introverted?

    Like I’d probably just ask them what their dream engagement would be. That’ll give you an idea. An introverted person would probably want to die in a public engagement.

  7. Sounds like my nightmare! If I’m ever proposed to, I’d like it to be private just between us two.

  8. My first instinct is : oh god no.

    The idea of feeling pressured like that freaks me out. And everyone looking at me and me not knowing the right way to look and it all feeling like such a huge decision happening so quickly … 🤯

    But, if I were actually in a loving and beautiful relationship and felt safe with him, and we had talked about marriage and he did it somewhere meaningful and wanted others to see … that actually would be lovely.

    But it actually hinges on the guy being a good person who loves me.

  9. I think it can be an incredibly shitty thing to do unless you and your partner have talked it over and they’ve expressed that they want or are at least okay with a public proposal. They put a huge amount of attention and pressure on the person being asked to say yes, even if they might not really want to, just so they don’t ’cause a scene’ by saying no. The whole idea of it is an absolute nightmare for me tbh, although I know plenty of people would be fine with it for themselves.

  10. I would be literally mortified, actually. Maybe that’s just my social anxiety speaking. But I’ve never been one for public shows or gestures.

  13. Everyone should communicate with their SO what kind of proposal they want. I told my husband I didn’t want it to happen in front of a lot of people, so he did it in private.

  14. My now-husband proposed to me over dinner at a restaurant—technically in public. He made a lovely speech, and I was overjoyed.

    I loved the public proposal! That being said, we had talked in passing about how I didn’t mind public proposals, and we knew we wanted to get married (and had talked about it) before the official proposal. It wasn’t an out-of-the-blue thing, and I didn’t feel trapped or cornered.

    The most important thing with proposals is that both people talk about the other person’s wants, needs, and boundaries—just like in every other aspect of a relationship.

  15. I don’t like public proposals I feel they leave a huge pressure on the other party to say yes so they won’t seem like a jerk if they said no, love comes in different forms and I can still love you but I don’t want to marry for various reasons but to blast me like that in public with out asking what I think about the idea in general indirectly is just cruel

    I really think private proposals are the best because it’s just you and your loved one sharing an intimate moment

  16. Y’know, I’m certainly open to it on the grounds that it’s one of those, “It was already a conversation that we agreed on and it’s just a matter of when”, *and* if it was at a public place that was sentimental to us.

    That said, Dad was at dinner at Mom’s parents’ house and that sounds just about right to me.

  17. I feel like there’s too much pressure for a public proposal. I hope it doesn’t happen to me.

    Back in my younger days, a guy proposed to his girlfriend at a local rave. She said yes. The wedding never happened but it seems like she’s married to someone else now

  19. I’ve been proposed to twice and they were both private. I wouldn’t want a public proposal because it’s a very intimate thing to ask to spend the rest of your lives together. I feel like public proposals are akin to people that have to post everything on social media, they just want the attention. If you have to have attention from more than just your partner while making this decision to be satisfied, you shouldn’t probably get married.

  20. For couples/“proposees” that love attention, it is awesome. For people who don’t care about attention or hate it – public is a little silly.

  21. No. That should be an intimate moment between two people. I would turn into a very embarrassed, angry turtle in that moment. My husband asked me to marry him in the gazebo overlooking the beach. I prefer private affairs. We got married at the courthouse with just my mom and eldest child there to witness.

  22. as an introvert, i would fucking dread that! but i think you & your partner should talk about it first because some people actually like that type of thing. just depends on the person i guess ☺️

  23. Oh hell no. I wouldn’t mind a semi-public proposal amongst a small group of family or friends, but would greatly prefer something private. I love my boyfriend and would be happy to shout a yes from the rooftops, but I view our relationship as entirely between the two of us. So I think such an important moment should also be between the two of us.

    I can see the need to involve a handful of people to organize some kind of elaborate but still semi-private surprise, though I don’t personally feel the need for that. Like, my boyfriend knows I would say yes if he asked today and I send him stuff related to engagement rings on the regular because I know he’s going to ask. But if he put me on a kiss cam at a baseball game and asked I would deny him for spite.

  24. Not a fan. My husband took me out to a nice dinner and hired a sitter for the baby. Wasn’t big or special. It was small and sweet

  25. I would have HATED it! Sooo uncomfortable, and weird to involve random people in such an important moment of your life!

  26. I have never seen a public proposal that didn’t make me cringe, either from the fact that the person being proposed to said no or from the knowledge that in several cases that I personally knew the people the person being proposed to took back their yes in private because they felt pressured to say yes in public in order to “not make a scene”. Can’t imagine how many more people that I don’t know that have regrets about saying yes under pressure.

    If it happened to me I’d say no on principal even if I actually wanted to marry them. Hopefully by the time this actually becomes relevant we will have had enough conversations on the topic that they know better.

  27. My fiance dragged my ass up a muddy hill to find one private place in the park in which he proposed to me, bc he knew I’d HATE to be a spectacle. As he dragged me up there I was thinking “this BETTER be for a proposal.” I then happy-tackled him into the mud. Anyway. Yeah. I’d have hated a spectacle.

  28. Hard pass for me, but one of my friends was proposed to on top of a mountain at a ski resort at peak season. Tons and tons of people saw it and she has some really cool pics from people who saw it happen from up on the ski lift and thought it would be nice for them to have a pic from that angle! Definitely depends on the couple and it’s definitely something that needs to be talked about. My sister is super extroverted and loves attention, but she made it clear she doesn’t want a big show of a proposal like we all thought she would!

  29. Proposals are such a subjective thing. Some people want the public scene, others including myself would outright say no if it were in public and then probably go home and cry.

    To me, the whole public crowded thing feels like they’re making pressure for you to say yes, which I find manipulative.

    Every couple should have a casual conversation about proposals at some point far away from the actual proposal.

  31. I didn’t really care if it was public. My fiancé and I have lived together in a bunch of different states and every time we went somewhere new, we’d go find a super dark, quiet back road away from any cities and go stargazing. Texas was the best honestly. So when he decided to propose, we were at my moms house and went stargazing on her property (she lives in bum fuck nowheresville). He proposed in the field with just the two of us and I was happy. He even surprised me by having the original ring he was going to propose with. I’d accidentally found it before but he carried it around in his wallet for a long time and lost his wallet on the plane home from his deployment. I deployed and when I got home, he popped the question. Turns out the airline found and returned his wallet nearly a year after he lost it. He got it shipped to him about a month before I came home. I really liked the ring and was a bit disappointed when he told me it was gone so I was ecstatic to see it again.

  32. I always thought it would be fun. I really do think the partner needs to see how their partner feels about it first though, or it can be uncomfortable and add pressure.

  33. Just- NO. I have severe anxiety and I hate surprises. My now husband asked my father and my best if they thought he should propose to me in front of our families and friends and they basically said “As much as we would love to see that, DO NOT DO IT.” Aaaannnnd they were right. He did it privately and it was perfect.

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