I have been fighting a lot of frustration since the beginning of 2022. I still feel good when I help people or put in a “hard days” work. But a few things, I feel late breaking me.
One, I’ve had it up to my neck with my mom dwelling on her past and unloading her anxieties on me. I’ve been the torch bearer of this burden since my mid teens when my dad left.(38 now). Her sister passed away after Christmas, and left many things uncertain as she did not issue a will of any kind. Mom’s anxiety tripled quickly as they co-own some property, and I finally blew my lid when she brought it crashing on my wife and children one morning.
Two, my wife and I have a simple, as I thought happy and healthy relationship. However, I am a bit more conservative with everything I do, and she is a bit more liberal. (3 year age gap). I have gotten completely out of partying and away from anything I do not want my children to see or deal with until the time is right. My wife, still has her girl nights and is always looking forward to the next big outing for what seems to be freedom to get sloppy drunk and need babysitting.(at least when I am around). I am tired of this sense and have communicated it. I am tired of the “honey, I’m going to eat it or going to this concert, be back as soon as it is over” then walk in at near daylight. I don’t try to be possessive or controlling, but I feel like I have invested so much and if she hasn’t already, it is a matter of time before she makes a major mistake. Be it cheating or get in trouble with the law. I have fought lies before, and most liars won’t tell the truth even if you put the evidence in front of them.
I guess I am just tired of trying. I have communicated my stance with everyone, and continue to try helping my mom and find some anchor of trust with my wife, but I feel like I am lost now.
Thank you
2 comments
How often does your wife go out? How old are the kids?
Put boundaries up for your mom. Read up on that.
As for your wife, yall were partiers when you were together, now you want her to change because you did. Not fair. Just reestablish the guidelines. If she wants to go out, she can be honest.. she needs to feel safe that she can say I will be out late… and have a game plan, ie babysitter if you are busy, designated driver, limit on alcohol, place to stay, etc. A girls night out one a week or one a month is ok,, a girls night/weekend stay over once a month is ok. Yall just have to have communication.. doesn’t sound like she’s comfortable expressing that. And you seem to have wants you aren’t expressing too… does she do things with you? What do you like to do to chill out, find adventure, get away from the routine of chores/home?