I’ve already posted. Yes, I agree with all of you. I gotta go. I’m fully down. I’m just worried that if I do this guy will not be ok. I’ve been saving money and discreetly separating our possessions. The more I quietly and peacefully take care of the last bit of things that I can to leave the more he talks about hurting himself. Is this just another form of manipulation? What if he does some crazy stuff as soon as I leave? Idk. I need feedback. Thanks again everyone.
3 comments
First, you are not responsible for any action your future ex does or doesn’t do. If he is saying he will hurt himself, have him involuntarily committed to be evaluated.
I think you shouldn’t make decisions based on what your partner might do. Which choice do you think might lead you to a more fulfilling life? Being an alcoholic, he’s already hurting himself now, and you’re sacrificing parts of yourself to care for him. His well-being rests more on his willingness to take care of himself, not on your actions.
Maybe he has other people who can possibly become his support system? If that’s the case, then a bit of a heads up might help (mutual friends), or a well-timed call to his family so they can be there for him in the meantime.
Yes. It’s basically emotional blackmail. It’s a manipulation tactic (even though it might not be a conscious one).
If he does something crazy, then that is on him. He chose not to get help. He’s had enough time during you leaving to prepare for the fallout.
And it boils down to: you’re leaving because staying would destroy you. No matter what he does, you have to save yourself. You staying would not make things better, only prolong the inevitable.