I 25M have never been on a date, let alone flirted with a woman. I really don’t know how to go about it. I would like to go out to do something where I could meet people to make friends and hopefully a partner.
I’ve went to some bars and clubs before (not for this purpose) and they’re just not for me. I’m more of a mellow guy and I’m wondering what activities I could do to meet someone. My interests are mostly solitary like hiking, videogames, etc. and there doesn’t really seem to be many Meetup groups for my area. What’s more awkward is I have no one to go out to do activities with and I’m not an outgoing and spontaneous person. I’ve been wanting to get a serious relationship for a while and I’m ready to take steps towards attaining that, I’m just lost on how to do so. Though I’m not really interested in online dating as I don’t really have any good pictures of myself and don’t really like the idea of it in general.
3 comments
I mean it’s a minefield out there so good luck however I feel like I would go places that I really like to go to
Im in a pretty similar situation my mate. Same age, almost same experience, and talked about this with my T. I like to be alone and im not studying anything so, im in a hard situation when we talk about meeting ladys.
She suggested me many times to try to join some meet groups, i mean, fornwritters, some local basic noob writing lessons by some local artists. Which it is a good idea if there is some passion that you have, you have fun, challenge yourself and also at baby steps you meet new people.
The thing is, my beloved mate, in my group there is only one girl that is around my age, 21 i think, and she totally is out of my league. The rest is 16-18 or straight up like 40. What my T said was that i could make friends (something im working on, since indont have many friends, barely 3 or 4) and maybe eventually i would meet people through them. ‘We never know who can we know through others’ was what she said. And that gives me hope.
Also, this spring im gonna go on my own to some music shows on my own. I love music and maybe i woukd dare to talk to a girl, maybw. That would be lovely. And im nit saying lookingnfor a hook up, just looking fir someone to open my thoughts and ramble on and feelikg her ramble on aswell. Hope whatever ibsaid is useful haha
I’m probably going to get downvoted for this but don’t listen to people to “Just be yourself”. If being yourself means you’ll just chill in the background and avoid conversation then that advice is going to make you more insecure probably. I speak from experience when I say this. The biggest thing I learned as a shy guy is that no matter how much you try to send hints at a girl that you’re interested, she’ll sooner die than make the first move herself.
I’ve waited for 14 years hoping some girl somewhere would be single and interested enough to say something to me, it literally never happens.
Your silence or distance is p much hardwired to be interpreted as arrogance or disinterest.
Its not good news for shy guys but it is something we have to accept and overcome.
I have less trouble talking to strangers than I used to and being a bit more of a fun guy, I still don’t have the slightest idea how to escalate from a friendly conversation to “I’d like to go on a date with you” though.
Most of it is doing things socially that you’re used to avoiding. So it’s not going to feel fun or comfortable for a while at first.