Almost a year ago my ex-wife and I broke up after nearly 6 years of marriage and living together for over 14 years. I’ve been living on my own (with our daughter of 18 months old) for about 2 months and I decided to give online dating a go since I crave affection but I’m too introverted to meet people in real life.
I’m a chubby, not very attractive white male so I expected to find a barren wasteland and for a while it seemed like I was getting what I expected. I talked to a few women but none of them seemed to be really interested.
Anyway, one day I matched with the woman this thread is about, I’ll call her K and we hit it off instantly. She is about my age, has a daughter of a similar age, has the same interests, the same humor, you name it. AND she thinks I look hot.. all while having a stunning body of her own. This is awesome. She even proposed to meet me as soon as she can!
So about a week after we first start talking she shows up at my front door in a stunning dress, we hug and she comes in. My daughter is home so we play with her a bit, they both get along super well. After a while I put my daughter to bed and focus all my attention on my date. We talk the entire night and after a while we start cuddling (my initiative) and kissing (her initiative). This is awesome! This is the first time I kiss a woman besides my ex-wife in 15 years, I’m ecstatic!
Now, K currently lives with her parents because she also recently got out of a long term relationship so she has to get home at a certain time because her dad is a worrier and she hasn’t told him what she was doing. We give a few more hugs, a few more kisses, she thanks for a wonderful night and we both go our own ways.
Around midnight she texts me saying she got home, I reply by asking what she thought of tonight and go to bed. The next morning I send a picture with my daughter (I’ve done this many times before) and she says she woke up half an hour ago and needs to get gas. I laugh about it because there is a gas station like right outside my door and send another picture of my daughter. She views it but doesn’t reply. A few hours later I ask what she’s doing (we did this regularly in the days leading up to this), no view. That night I just send a random message, no view. The morning after I said I’d like to watch Obi-Wan Kenobi with her, no view.
At this point I start worrying a bit. Her and I have almost constantly talked for the week leading up to this, the longest I haven’t heard her was about 4 hours, we’re at well over 24 hours now. I haven’t even seen her be online. Maybe she got into an accident? A family crisis? Idk.
Then it happens, I see her status change to online! Anxiously I wait for a reply that never shows up. I ask her if everything is alright while she is online. No view, no reply. This starts hurting… I remember what my therapist (which I got to deal with my breakup) said and just said what I felt. I ask her to talk to me, tell me she needs time, that she didn’t feel anything last night, whatever. I’ll take anything at this point.

No view, no reply. This really hurts. I feel used.

7 comments
  1. people ghost all the time sadly it’s part of dating I think don’t get attached it will save you a lot of heartache

  2. There will be a lot more first dates that went well than second dates. Also that’s so many texts, I do understand the enthusiasm but that’s a little scary especially if you’re hesitant about someone (on her end). Keep it at the one text after the date and then eventually another text a couple of days later if there’s no response, that’s it.

  3. Welcome to the modern dating scene lol. It sucks but you will have to get used to it unfortunately. My advice would be to pull back and not give so much of yourself to a person you barely know at first; dont fall for the trap of texting a girl 24/7 before even meeting her

  4. Welcome to the sad state of affairs.
    I’ve had dates that went amazing but didn’t lead to anything.

  5. Welcome to dating in the year of our lord 2022. Get used to it, it won’t be the last time you’re ghosted.

  6. Dude you are over pursuing wayyy too much. You gotta let her come to you. Dating is like tennis, hit the ball over the net and wait for her to hit it back. If she doesn’t, find someone who wants to play with you.

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