Hey. I’m 25M.
I’ve never really liked drinking. Occasionally I like it if it’s nice stuff and one or two. But in the uk there’s quite a big culture of binge drinking.
I just don’t like it anymore. alcohol makes my mental state really bad. I feel awful for 2 days after. Not just sick but like mentally really depressed. It really affects my fitness goals too.
I don’t want to do it really. I took a month off and felt amazing. My life isn’t going so well right now and alcohol just makes it worse.
Only thing is, my friends love drinking. They go out a lot. They can be quite social people at times and they will notice when I’m not drinking and will call me a p***y if I don’t drink faster. I know I should probably really find people who care about me more and not give into peer pressure so much, but I don’t have anyone else right now and I don’t know where else I’d find friends. I don’t like my colleagues and they’re older so it could end up sucking a lot.
I also worry that not drinking will make it hard for me to meet a girl. I feel quite lonely at times now and I’d like to meet a girl. But drinking is such a heavy part of meeting people and I’m not sure how people would see me anymore.
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?
Thanks
Tl;dr I don’t want to binge drink anymore but not sure how to continue normally without it
7 comments
Making friends when you’re out of school is tough. It sounds like you’ve out grown your friends, while they’re still in the party hard mindset you’re passed that.
What would you rather do with your friends? You can try doing those activities on your own and chatting up people you find there. I find the only way to make friends these days is to go somewhere consistently. Thats why school and work friends are easier to come by, we see them all the time. (I should say I’m autistic so friendship has always been a bit of a mystery to me, I know there’s better ways to make friends they just don’t work for me).
Just tell them the truth. If they make you feel bad for not drinking. They are not actually friends. Real friends well not care if you are drinking.
Or find new friends. Join a club or activity that you like and meet new people there.
If your friends can’t handle you not drinking then they are not worth being friends with them
Tell them “fuck off” when they call you p…y. And then keep not drinking. They won’t like it at first, sure, but really, if you keep doing you they will get used to it.
If they don’t and keep bullying you, then really, do you want friends that keep bullying people into alcoholism? Because that is what happens when you regularly drink more then you know youn should. With shaming people for not drinking enough, at least some of them will grow problem.
Ive never been a big drinker myself, or doesn’t agree with my body much. In college, I made a group of friends who drank and partied all the time. I was slightly older than them. When they turned 21 and went to the bars all the time and graduated, I started to phase out drinking with them or would have one beer. I got into the habit that I’d pick them up and bring them downtown. Then I’d leave whenever they were getting super drunk/it got late. I felt weird being there and I started to do other things to try to make other friends who didn’t drink such as Meet Ups, classes of any kind, volunteering, group local events, etc.
Stop while you can and haven’t abused your body to the point of regret. Alcohol is a major depressant and will ultimately cause real brain and physical damage. Even ONE sip causes damage.
It may seem like you can’t have fun without it, but that is your body being childish and wanting a crazy amount of pleasure. It will seek more and more. This is where you need to force wisdom to take over. Wisdom will tell you that it is not healthy to overload your brain and body with massive amounts of dopamine, followed by a crash. Wisdom will show you what you will look and feel like in 5, 10, 30 years. Take control of what you know and cut the detrimental behaviors out.
Be wise. I know you already know what to do. Now tell your brain you will do it, and stick to something because sticking to a goal of health will have more pleasurable effects down the line than any alcohol ever will. Your future self, wallet, and brain will be like “THANK YOU.”
It’s not easy making a decision like that. But you need to take care of you. You can still hit the bars, but just drink water. Offer to be the dd. You’ll have clear memories the next morning, and you might even woo the pretty ladies. All and all in my own experience, it’s awkward as hell at times. But ignore it and try to have fun! Dm if you wanna chat more about it.